My first/last Italian boyfriend and I at the Calgary Stampede in Alberta, Canada.
Before meeting my current Italian husband, I had gone on many a date where I could have worn a paper bag and a hair scrunchie and the response would have been “wow, you look great”. This was not to appease me (or to say that I can rock a paper bag and scrunchie) but simply because all these guys probably fell in either one of two categories- or they genuinely liked my outfit choices or they weren’t paying the slightest bit of attention to my shoe-accessory coordination skills. On what was likely the second date with the first (and last) Italian I went out with, I remember primping and prepping, picking out the perfect “second date” outfit only to be blindsided with “your belt doesn’t go with those shoes.”
At the time, I was both horrified and deeply offended as you probably are reading this. How dare a man tell me how to dress! I was defensive of my choice and stomped around angrily but he insisted. I ended up changing the belt whilst pouting the entire time but when I saw myself in the mirror, I had to admit to myself that my date had been right! In fact, after having moved to Italy and spending time with Italian friends and family, I’ve noted that it’s a common question for women to ask their boyfriends or husbands: “come sto?” before leaving the house and they all truly want an honest opinion and will take off or change an item of clothing based on male feedback. There is no offense taken at all, I think they are just grateful that the men take an interest in what they wear and what kind of impression it gives. Although it was originally a complete shock to me, I now appreciate this. Call it old-fashioned or anti-feminist if you will but if my Italian fellow’s input helps me walk the fine line between making a brutta figura and a bella figura, who am I to complain?
If you enjoyed this little dating snippet, you'll probably love this article I wrote for Pink Pangea...
Italian Men: The Unofficial Guide
Also, if you have your own entertaining "dating an Italian" story or any cross-cultural dating story, feel free too leave it in the comments section!
At the time, I was both horrified and deeply offended as you probably are reading this. How dare a man tell me how to dress! I was defensive of my choice and stomped around angrily but he insisted. I ended up changing the belt whilst pouting the entire time but when I saw myself in the mirror, I had to admit to myself that my date had been right! In fact, after having moved to Italy and spending time with Italian friends and family, I’ve noted that it’s a common question for women to ask their boyfriends or husbands: “come sto?” before leaving the house and they all truly want an honest opinion and will take off or change an item of clothing based on male feedback. There is no offense taken at all, I think they are just grateful that the men take an interest in what they wear and what kind of impression it gives. Although it was originally a complete shock to me, I now appreciate this. Call it old-fashioned or anti-feminist if you will but if my Italian fellow’s input helps me walk the fine line between making a brutta figura and a bella figura, who am I to complain?
If you enjoyed this little dating snippet, you'll probably love this article I wrote for Pink Pangea...
Italian Men: The Unofficial Guide
Also, if you have your own entertaining "dating an Italian" story or any cross-cultural dating story, feel free too leave it in the comments section!
