I just wanted to take the opportunity for this week's blog post, to make fun of ourselves a little bit. It's always trying times during the language learning process and I've lost count of all the instances that I have made a huge fool of myself in Italian, whether it was a mispronounced word, a fuggly accent, or a misunderstanding of context use. We've all been there. In fact, some of these examples were committed by fellow expats and some by me. 

1. Posso avere una figa? 
English Translation: Can I have a (vulgar word for vagina)?
Intended phrase: Posso avere un fico? 
Intended meaning: Can I have a fig? 

2. Mi piacciono i pisellini.
English Translation: I like little wee-wees (as in cutesy children's word for you know what!)
Intended phrase and meaning: I like naps. Naps = pisolino NOT pisellino. 

3. Buon Ano! 
English Translation: Good ass****! 
Intended phrase: Buon Anno! 
Intending Meaning:  Happy New Year! 

4. Il gatto è sulla tetta. 
English Translation: The cat is on the boob. 
Intended phrase: Il gatto è sul tetto. 
Intended meaning: The cat is on the roof. 

This is a continuation of the original post: The Best Worst Mistakes Made by English-Speakers in Italian, so please read that gem if you haven't yet! 

You might also enjoy the post where I make fun of my Italian friends' slip-ups: 
Sh*t my Italian Friends Say

Also, please feel free to comment and share any laugh-out-loud errors in Italian (or any other language for that matter) that you've committed yourself! I would love to hear about them! 

Spesso, ci sentiamo costretti ad imparare una lingua nuova e vediamo ciò come un’incombenza, un compito. Così l'apprendimento di una nuova lingua diventa un lavoro quando invece dovrebbe essere un piacere e soprattutto, un dono. La bellezza del linguaggio si trova nei piccoli e nei grandi cambiamenti che ci comporta. Pensare, parlare e scrivere usando un altro linguaggio cambia non solo il nostro modo di vedere il mondo, ma anche noi stessi. Ogni parola che impareremo ci porterà sempre più vicino a oltrepassare i nostri limiti.

I originally wrote this in an e-mail as a bit of inspiration for my English students after having seen the film Arrival. I whole-heartedly believe in this, that language is a gift and that it is something that is ever-evolving, ever-changing, and thus, our relationship with it is entirely dynamic. Italian makes me see the world differently, the specificity of each word for one object, yet the absence of certain adjectives that in English are commonplace, the smooth cadence and poetry of Italian that help you visualize the cadence and poetry of the landscape, a glass of wine, the chiming of church bells...For this blog post, I started to translate the text to English but I stopped. It wasn't right in English, the way it is written in Italian. And so I will leave it as is, unscathed by the rules and restrictions of one language on another. The photos that I chose to accompany this post are five years old, taken when I was studying Italian at the University of Alberta. I can actually spot an error now, looking back. Just a testament to the fact that we never stop learning do we?

My journey to living in Italy starts out as all good stories do- with an Italian boy in tight white pants. I was a meagre 19 years old when we met almost 8 years ago in Alberta, Canada- a moment in time that coincidentally coincided with the moment I fell in love with Italy, funny how that happened eh?
 
I always considered myself exponentially more prepared than your average American expat in Italy and I certainly never bought into that “I’ll learn Italian by osmosis when I get there” concept they’ve been trying to sell us via the perfect vessel of Diane Lane in Under The Tuscan Sun. No sir, I applied myself- I took Italian in university alongside a wonderfully light course load called my undergraduate pharmacy degree, I religiously PVR’d every episode of House Hunters International that featured a strong female lead moving to Italy (forcing my parents to watch it as evidentiary proof that I wasn’t crazy and that other young women moved there all the time), and finally, I likely own every travel literature book ever written on the subject. I’m literally on my second copy of Marlena De Blasi’s A Thousand Days in Venice because I wanted that to be my life. I had done the dress rehearsal several times, and when I finally moved to Italy last year, it was not my first rodeo by any means. I was prontissima (the suffix emphasizes the word ‘ready’, equivalent in English would be ‘super, duper ready’). There would be no fooling me, no behind-the-back snickering as I unknowingly ordered a cappuccino after mid-day to accompany my Margherita pizza; I was well-versed in the cultural no-nos. Turns out, the most cringe-worthy expat moments tend to come when you least expect them, no matter how prepared you are. Mine came while I was waiting for the bus.
 
Now I know how to take a bus, in fact, I have stellar bus-taking capabilities and on this particular day just a few after my arrival in Italy, I had already expertly surpassed the initial foreigner mistake of not knowing that you have to buy your ticket before boarding the bus. Ha! So there I am, ticket in hand like a real Italian, waiting at the bus stop and smiling like a fool at my ingenuity. Eccolo (there it is)! My bus is rolling up. Imagine it slow motion like Richard Gere in the limousine, minus the flowers. I started walking towards it and zoom…it whips right past me! 

​Hello dreamer, future or current expat! Today's post is actually a transcript of an interview about moving and living in Italy that I gave to the mother of all expat sites, www.expat.com, answering a variety of FAQs! 

Where are you from, Jasmine, and what are you doing nowadays?

I am a second-generation Canadian from Edmonton, Alberta. Prior to moving to Italy, I studied Pharmacy at the University of Alberta and practiced as a pharmacist for almost two years in the community. Nowadays, I’m in a completely different field, teaching English and doing what I like to call “language consulting”(translations, proofreading, etc.) for different industries in Italy. I’m also an active blogger and I write about all my adventures being an expat here.

Why did you choose to expatriate to Italy?

I chose Italy because my husband is from Bergamo, a city in Northern Italy.

As a Canadian expat, what where the procedures you had to follow to move there?

It is not difficult to move for a year if you are under the age of 35 because Canada is one of the countries that has a Working Holiday option for Italy. This is a visa that is fairly easy to get and lets you live for a year in Italy while giving you the opportunity to work for six months. After this, the options become limited as then I required a work visa to come back. However, if you marry an Italian citizen, you then do not require a visa and are legally allowed to stay and work indefinitely.

How long have you been in the country?

I’ve now been in Italy almost two years.

What has surprised you the most at your arrival?

I have to admit that there were very few surprises left for me as I had been visiting Italy almost every year for the past eight years prior to my official move date.

Was it difficult to find accommodation there? What are the types of accommodation which are available there?

Unfortunately, I can’t speak to this question because we moved right into our own house. I don’t think it would be hard to find accommodation if you were not picky about where, for example, there are lots of apartments and single-family houses available in the “suburbs” or slightly outside of the city-center and the prices are more reasonable.

What are the local labor market's features? Is it easy for an expat to find a job there?

It’s still currently hard even for Italians to find jobs, so it really depends on what you’re bringing to the table as an expat. In smaller cities or towns, teaching English is always going to be an option. It gets more difficult if you’re in a big metropolitan where there are many international students and expats who are also “competing” on the job market. However, I think that if you have a unique skill or education and a good understanding of Italian, you can find a job. It may not be the ideal job, or the field you want, or the pay that you want, but that’s Italy for you!

How do you find the Italian lifestyle?

Fantastic. I mean, there’s a reason people love to come to Italy or dream about living here. The lifestyle emphasizes living and spending time with friends and family. In Northern Italy, work life is still quite demanding and I’d say equivalent if not more so to that of North America despite what people like to speculate. It’s just that once out of work, Italians know how to enjoy their time and the country itself gives you so much to see and do, often for free.

Have you been able to adapt yourself to the country and to its society?

Yes, for the most part, I’ve adapted well to the country and society.

What does your every day life look like in Bergamo?

Every day life in Bergamo looks very similar to every day life in Edmonton with the exception of your surroundings. You are surrounded by history and beautiful, old buildings. For example, I enjoy my commute much more because I go through lovely little towns and pass some very historic churches
.
What is your opinion on the cost of living in Bergamo? Is it easy for an expat to live there?

Northern Italy, in general, is more expensive than Central or South in terms of everything – rent, eating out, even groceries. I think you could probably stretch your money further if you were to be an expat further south. However, as I’ve never lived there, only travelled, I’m just making an educated guess here.

How do you spend your leisure time?

I usually spend my leisure time travelling with my fiancée or taking day trips on his motorcycle. Bergamo is very strategically placed and we have Lake Iseo, Lake Como, and Lake Garda all nearby, so we often like to visit the small, lakefront towns on the weekends.

Your favorite local dishes?

My favorite local dish is casoncelli. They are a “type” of ravioli in the sense that they are a stuffed pasta, but they are very particular to Bergamo. They are served with a butter and sage sauce that is marvelous.

What do you like the most about Italy?

I love the fact that you don’t have to spend money to enjoy yourself. This is something that Europe, in general, I think offers which is just thanks to its history. Since North American cities are newer, you don’t have the option of going to a castle on a Saturday or having a walk in the historical center. I just found that back home, we end up spending money to do things such as go to the movies or out to a restaurant with friends but here, you can just pop out your front door and find things to do that are free.

What do you miss the most about your home country?

I miss the insane friendliness and politeness of Canadians. That is not to say that Italians aren’t, because they absolutely are but where this differs is in the service industry. I just miss going to the grocery store and having a conversation with the cashier. Sometimes here, they barely acknowledge you. This is perhaps an extreme example, also due to the fact that again, we are in Northern Italy and the people are a little more closed than if you go to the South (even Italians themselves will confirm this!).

What has motivated you to write your blog “Questa Dolce Vita”? How does it help?

I was first motivated just to keep friends and family updated with my adventures, but it quickly evolved into a way to connect with other expats as well as help soon-to-be expats! A blog is also very cathartic when you’re trying to get used to a new country and culture.

Would you like to give any advice to soon-to-be expatriates in Italy?

Learn Italian before arriving.

Well that's it for 2016 folks. It has been a hoot and a half, that's for sure. I highly doubt that the next year will be able to live up to the last, so many happy things defined my 2016: getting married, seeing my dearest friends and family altogether in Italy, getting married...! And as you probably know, we closed it off with a bang: the blog won the BEST NEW BLOG award from Italy Magazine! This is truly, madly, deeply, one of the greatest honors that an expat in Italy blogger like myself can be given and I'm really so happy, even more so with the fact that maybe we will have more exposure and I can get to connect with more of you living abroad, living in Italy, or dreaming of doing the former two. In the end, that was my greatest hope for the blog, to put our shared experiences into words and help prepare others for the journey! Speaking of journeys, I just came back from one yesterday. Massi and I spent "capodanno" (which technically is the first day of the year because it comes from "capo d'anno", but is typically used to refer to New Year's Eve celebrations) in Ferrara, Italy, a city in the region of Emilia-Romagna. Ferrara is actually reknowned for its New Year's Eve festivities, mainly for the iconic "incendio del castello" (castle-on-fire) where a wonderful fireworks display is coordinated around the Castello Estense in the center of the city. It involves not only traditional fireworks being shot-off from the four towers, but also a cascade of fireworks that pours over the castle walls- combined with smoke and flashing lights, it really seems like the castle is "on fire". ​

We spent the first part of the afternoon walking aimlessly around the city which usually results in us somehow hitting all the major sights and landmarks anyways, one of which is the building above, Palazzo dei Diamanti (referencing diamonds for obvious reasons). This building is particular stunning to see in person, the play of lights and angles is amazing considering it was conceived in 1493. It started to get rather chilly (for Italy) as the sun set, so we took that as indication to huddle in a streetfood kiosk (called ) with some ice-cold IPA. We then started the arduous task of trying to find somewhere to eat. For New Year's Eve, Italians typically participate in what is called a "cenone" which is just a way to say "big, important dinner". This usually involves going out or staying in with your friends and eating an excessive amount which is like every other Friday night in Italy anyways, so what's the big deal you ask? Probably that if you go out, restaurants have a set menu and start taking reservations in advance. So armed with this knowledge, of course we waited until hours before to start asking around to make a reservation...with zero luck. Every restaurant in Ferrara was AL COMPLETO, FULLY BOOKED. It got to the point where restaurants were putting up makeshift signs so they wouldn't have to repeat it to the umpteenth clueless tourist. We were completely at a loss and contemplating having a kebab when a miracle happened. We were able to secure a table for two at a Chinese restaurant just steps from the castle. If you asked our fellow Italian diners, they would probably tell you it was a horrendous experience, but I, on the other hand, found it delightful. The restaurant had managed to jam in another forty people in its basement, with no emergency exit and no way of even walking between tables. The food was late and didn't follow a particular order, the waiters had no idea what was happening, and only one employee (the restaurant owner's son) spoke Italian. But, we ended up paying 20 Euros a person and the wine was unlimited. Let me repeat, the wine was UNLIMITED. So Massi and I had a grand ole' time, watched the fireworks happy as two clams, and danced until I couldn't take anymore Euro dance music (circa an hour is about my limit). I apologize, the photos are in reverse (so as you scroll down, you'll see the start of our trip).