​It was a good one, the one I left behind. The life, I mean. At times I think there must be something wrong with me, something serious. Because what sane person leaves a six-figure salary to be paid by single digits by the hour? In the world I grew up in, happiness is linked to success and success is linked to money but despite all the numbers piling up in my chequing account, I seemed to be some kind of anomaly to the equation. I was inconsolably unhappy, living a sort of half-life really, a type of purgatory or middle-space void of meaning and I couldn’t figure out what direction to move in. I just knew the direction had to be out. Like so many millennials before me, I was having an existential crisis in the most narcissistic way possible; I had everything a girl could want and somehow it meant nothing to me. I realize this is incredibly selfish. It’s nothing short of Elizabeth Gilbert’s quest for self-actualization using pasta and prayer as a means to an end and I know a lot of people hated how much her narrative was all about HER. And now I’m all about ME. But here’s the thing- where’s the fault in that? We were born into a privileged generation thanks to the sacrifices of generations before us and this privilege should not be wasted on living an easy life that makes you unhappy. Privilege is to be able to live the life you actually want and what I wanted was to stop living for the weekend. Weekend Warriors. Sunday Funday. Great alliterations that are more tragic than Shakespeare. Let’s think about this for a moment. On average, if you’re lucky enough to grow old, you’ll live to be 75. If you do the math, that gives you precisely 3900 Saturdays. That is a finite number. 3900. 3899. Tick. Tock. You can leave the good ones behind. It can be good, great even, but if it’s not the life you dreamed for yourself, it’s time to make like Bocelli and say goodbye. 

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at these ones:

​Does the Dolce Vita Still Exist?

​You don't have to live forever-
Yes, Some of Us Need Italy. ​
​International Love Stories: A Tall, Dark, and Handsome Spaniard
I Beg Young People to TRAVEL. ​
International Love Stories ​
The Wanderlust Mantra: Eat, Pray, Love. ​
Curating Alberta's Beauty ​
​Public Service Advisory for Young Italians: PLEASE TRAVEL.

Disclaimer: This is purely a post for fun and should be not taken as factual or true, it is based solely on my own personal experience and that of my friends and other English-speaking expats in Italy with Italian boyfriends/husbands. If you don’t like opinions or generalizations about other cultures, don’t read this post!

Also, in an attempt to avoid having to write American/Canadian/Australian/British/Scottish/etc every time, I've just used "American" or at times "North American" rather liberally to cover all of these, sorry about that but it just makes for easier reading.

I’m a bit of a creep. Stalker-ish even. I’m just going to admit it. Who do I stalk? Couples just like my husband and I. Couples where the boy is Italian and the girl isn’t. In most cases, she’s usually from the UK or one of its commonwealth nations (go Canada!) or of course, America. It’s part of the reason I started the Love Stories Series in the first place, to have a legitimate excuse to ask all the big questions. I’m just so insanely curious to KNOW about these relationships, to know about their inner workings, how it all started and most importantly, WHY. Why are there so many foreign girls with Italians? Why have these relationships been so interesting to watch unfold (on YouTube, for example), what makes them so intriguing and what makes them work?
​
Over the past little bit, I’ve interacted with and connected with so many couples, both virtually and in real life, and there’s actually some underlying themes in all of our relationships, common threads that seem to link our stories. In this post, I wanted to talk about a few of them. The first one is contrary to popular belief: a good proportion of couples meet in America or somewhere other than Italy and then went through a brief or extended period of long-distance. This is strange to me because you inevitably think about the foreign tourist that comes to Italy for vacation and falls for an Italian but in all of these relationships that have turned into something far more serious seem to have their starts on the other side of the pond (by serious, let’s define this as lasting more than a couple years and seeing multiple trans-Atlantic flights and speaking about one-way tickets and eventually marriage). I met my husband in Canada. Tia Taylor met her boyfriend Enrico when he came to her high school in the US on exchange. Similar story to Carlo and Bailey I imagine, as they mention in one of their videos that they met in high school. Ditto for Sofie of Sofie’s World, she met her Italian boyfriend at a work conference in Spain. Angela and Davide met in Australia, her homeland while Davide was working there. Coral and Riccardo met in Scotland by chance in church. I think meeting abroad and then maintaining that relationship over a long-distance does wonders for relationships. You learn to communicate EXTREMELY WELL. Every time you are with that person feels like the first time. I mean, essentially the whole “absence makes the heart grow fonder” theory. Because you have to fight for this relationship adds some layer of romance that others don’t necessarily have.

The second theme I’ve noticed is that the girls tend to comment on how much the boys know about the world or that the boys have “opened their eyes”. *cue Aladdin singing “I can show you the world.”* Let me try to explain this because now it sounds like us poor, unfortunate North American girls are country bumpkins who have never been anywhere, seen anything, or done anything which is not the case at all. I’ve mentioned this in a previous post, but I think Italian boys are more than willing to talk to you about certain topics that you would likely never discuss with an American boyfriend- Tia Taylor says she connected with Enrico over their chats on politics, history, and philosophy. I relate to this as I am also consistently blown-away by my husband’s casual commentary on historical events and art (even though he’s far from an art history major). Most of these things are just a part of the Italian education system and not as emphasized in the North American school system. What I'm trying to say is that an average Italian girl would probably not see this as anything special because they know the same things. So I guess more than that is the fact that Italians show you a different way to live and la dolce vita is pretty much irresistible to anyone. Plus they have Italy’s beauty on their side.

​The third theme is related to the girls. We are all very extroverted and silly. I genuinely feel this is an American trait and maybe I’m going to get some contradictory and/or hate comments to this but I think it is not as prominent in Italian girls. Just to underline, I’m not saying that Italian girls are not extroverted and silly, there are certainly many that are, but as a generalization, if I had to choose where to put the heading “silly” I would put it on the American girl profile. We like to goof. We don’t care about making a bella figura (because it doesn’t really exist as a concept in North America). We makes fools out of ourselves and tend to not care very much. I’m also not saying that being this way is good or bad, it’s just how it is. That being said, I think that these traits are endearing (I hope!) to Italians who find us different, maybe from what they are used to, and what’s different is almost always intriguing at some point.

The fourth common factor is that in almost all cases, the girl is the mother tongue English speaker and the boy, being Italian, is obviously not. I feel like this dynamic serves as both a challenge and thus forth, a stimulating factor for the men who, as we all know, love a challenge. So basically you have this dynamic of where we, the girls, love their accents and they, the boys, are slightly out of their comfort-zone (out of comfort-zone = adrenaline and feelings of euphoria, an excess of endorphins which = happiness) for at least the beginning part of the courtship. The first part of the relationship is characterized by the girl having the “upper-hand” which is kind of exciting in a sense which is then replaced by a role-reversal if (as often happens) the girl travels or moves to Italy. Suddenly, we get a change in the relationship dynamics and now the boy is getting to teach Italian to us and we are dependent on them for almost everything in the beginning until we get integrated and they feel all “provider/protector” in this phase. In short, I believe that this flip-flopping of roles in the relationship helps to keep it interesting and exciting and therefore contributes immensely to overall success of the couple.
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To end this post, I just want to say that it’s not like you can just take any American/English etc girl (Jane Smith) and throw her together with an Italian boy (Mario Rossi of course) and they are going to be Couple of the Year. No, of course compatibility, shared interests and values and blah, blah, blah go into a successful relationship, it’s not just about mixing cultures. That being said, these four things were just mere observations I’ve made from secretly “observing” *cough, cough, stalking, cough* famous and not-so-famous mixed English/Italian couples. I’ve included videos of some of the ones I mentioned in this post below for your viewing pleasure! I'll also be featuring Sofie and Emilio's love story very soon on the blog so stay tuned for that on Love Story Lunedì!
​

​If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at these ones:
​Why We Love Italian Boys
​The Double Standard Between Italian Street Harassment and American
​Can Men and Women Be Friends? Here's How My Italian Colleagues Responded
Dating Diversity: Italy vs. Canada (and North America)
Cross-Cultural Dating: My First Jaw-Drop Moment with an Italian 
Italian Men: The Unofficial Guide for Wives and Girlfriends
How to Snag (and Keep) an Italian Man 
Asians and Italians…The Perfect Cross-Cultural Cocktail? 
How to Date an Italian Man or Woman (From The Iceberg Project)

A few weeks ago, I posted ​Can You Fall in Love Without Speaking the Same Language? and asked readers to share their opinions. At the same time, I also asked my Italian colleagues and the pie chart you see above is a combination of both readers and Italians. Guess what...we're all a bunch of ROMANTICS here! I'm pleasantly surprised by the results to tell you the truth, what about you? I'm quite enjoying surveying my Italian colleagues on various questions, so if there's something you'd like to ask, please write it in the comments or send me a message on Facebook or Instagram! 

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at these ones:
​Can You Fall in Love Without Speaking the Same Language?
How to Fight and Make Love in Two Languages
​Immunity to Accent Attractiveness: Can the Italian Accent Stop Being Sexy?
​​The Relationship Between Loving Someone and the Language You Love With

For some real-life romance, read these love stories:
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Isabel and David
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Jasmine & Massimiliano
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Tiffany and Adam
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Angela & Davide
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Kristie & Graziano
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Brittni & Alberto
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Maddie & Gio
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Jennie & Davide
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Lauren & Luigi
Reader Submissions: I'm Looking for Your Love Stories

​For a bite-size snack of make-believe romance, read these short stories:
​Creative Writing: A Sunday Kind of Love
​Creative Writing: Rooftops and Rome
​Creative Writing: Perfect Strangers in Switzerland
​Creative Writing: The Morning After in New York
​
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If you’ve travelled or lived in another country, you might also recall being stared at for looking different or for speaking a language that doesn’t “belong” to the country you were in. People telling you that you don’t look Canadian followed by confused looks when you try to explain for the umpteenth time that you were born there. I have often found myself wondering what a Canadian looks like and what Canadian is supposed to sound like. I’ve decided that the answer is at the airport, I saw and heard it in action when I flew back this time. The off-tune singsong of different languages in the customs line is our language and everyone looks Canadian despite the color of their passports or their skin. When the customs officer said “welcome home”, I nearly broke down in tears. It struck me how privileged we are to call Canada home.

I am blessed to know two countries, two languages, and two ways of living, however there is a saying in Italian: non si possono avere due paradisi: uno di qua e uno di là.You can’t have two paradises, one here and one there. You can’t have both at once. I’m back in Canada, dreaming under the blue skies of Alberta and for the moment, it is paradise. Perhaps one day, many years from now, I’ll have the same feeling of belonging, the same tears, when the plane lands in Milan. Of this, I am uncertain, but there is one thing that I know for sure- you will never catch me yelling across a crowded piazza upon glimpsing the tricolore, the Italian flag. That’s something I’d only do and will always do…for a maple leaf. 
 ​
- excerpt from collaborative blog for ​Peace Collective, click the link or the image to read the rest. 

​
For more creative writing, read these short stories:
​Creative Writing: Perfect Strangers in Switzerland
​Creative Writing: Rooftops and Rome
​Creative Writing: The Morning After in New York
​Creative Writing: Mulberries in Sicily

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at these ones:
How to Fight and Make Love in Two Languages
​My Hypothetical Italian Teenagers Won't Have Varsity Jackets or Homecomings
​My Canadian Identity Abroad in Italy: The Conundrum
FIVE Ways I've Become More ITALIAN in Canada
​Annoying Things Non-Canadians Say About Canada 
​Two Sides of the Italy Coin 
​Dating Diversity: Italy vs. Canada (and North America)
​Daily Things I Never Did Before Moving to Italy

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"Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations." - Zig Ziglar 

[This post is officially written bilingually for the very first time on the blog, hope you love it and that it reaches a more diverse audience this way. I won't be doing this for all posts, but only for selected features or sponsored posts with an Italian target audience. The Italian text is in italics]

I've lived in Italy almost three years now and if there's one thing that I've procrastinated on, it's decorating the house. It has existed in that constant state of limbo where we constantly relied on the statement that we had "just moved in", although lately our friends and family (notably my Italian mother-in-law) are no longer accepting that as an excuse. They're right. It was about time that we added some personal touches. Mine were my books which drives my husband crazy, he hates clutter whereas I would happily hoard books until I have to dig myself out of them to get to food. He loves classic and antiques while I love romantic and exotic touches. Back in Canada, my room was teeming with prayer flags collected from a trips to India, travel paraphernalia, fairy lights, and dried bouquets of roses. My husband, on the other hand, would balk at the idea of having anything other than a 16th century chandelier hanging from the ceiling and I would bet my last bottle of Barolo that he'd say fairy lights belong in fairytales and not in houses. 

Sono ormai tre anni che vivo in Italia e se c’è una cosa che ho sicuramente rimandato continuamente, è stato decorare la casa. Fin ora ci siamo sempre nascosti dietro la frase “ci siamo appena trasferiti”, anche se ultimamente i nostri familiari e amici non riescono più ad accettarla come scusa. Hanno ragione. Era giunta ora che lasciassimo un qualche tocco personale. Il mio tocco personale erano stati i miei libri, che fanno diventare matto mio marito, il quale odia la confusione mentre io sarei contenta di riempirne la casa, a tal punto da doverne riemergere solo per andare in cerca di cibo. Lui preferisce lo stile ricercato e classico mentre io preferisco ambientazioni esotiche e romantiche. In Canada la mia stanza  brulicava di bandiere e ammennicoli religiosi ricordi di viaggi in India, souvenir, lanternine colorate e mazzi di rose ormai secchi da tempo. Mio marito, di contraltare rifiuterebbe tutto ciò che non ricordi l’idea di un sontuoso lampadario del 16° secolo attaccato al soffitto. Ci scommetterei la mia ultima bottiglia di Barolo che il suo pensiero sia che le cose fiabesche appartengono alle fiabe e non alle case.

Because of our differing tastes, combining them in perfect harmony has not been easy. Luckily there's one thing that we do have in common: a love for Italy. That's why when we had the chance to decorate the walls of our living room with prints sponsored by Desenio, we didn't have to think twice as to what we wanted. With a seemingly unlimited choice of subjects and style, it was easy for us to find ways to incorporate la dolce vita into our home.  If this is the first time you're hearing about Desenio, make like an Italian at a Prada sample sale and head over to their website as fast as your internet will take you. Desenio is a Sweden-based company that was founded in 2010 with the goal of making sleek Scandinavian-inspired wall decor accessible to everyone and is now available in over 30 countries worldwide, including from its recently-launched online Italy store. If Scandinavian-style doesn't suit your home and you're looking for a different feel, the options are vast. From typography and quotes (like the one we chose with the quote featured in the introduction to this post), to vintage prints, to that iconic Kate Moss close-up that you've seen all over the apartments of millenial movers and shakers, there is truly something for everyone.

In virtù di queste differenze di gusto, trovare un accordo in perfetta armonia non è sempre stato semplice. Fortunatamente c’è una cosa sulla quale andiamo perfettamente d’accordo, l’amore per l’Italia. Per questo motivo quando abbiamo avuto l’occasione di decorare le pareti della nostra sala con le stampe di  Desenio, non abbiamo dovuto pensare due volte a cosa stavamo cercando. Con una scelta apparentemente infinita di opzioni stili e soggetti, è stato abbastanza facile trovare il modo di includere la Dolce Vita nella nostra casa. Se è la prima volta che senti parlare di Desenio, comportati come un italiano qualunque ai saldi di Prada e precipitati a visitare il loro sito internet alla massima velocità che la tua connessione ti consente.

Desenio è un’azienda svedese fondata nel 2010 con l’obiettivo di rendere accessibile a tutti le eleganti decorazioni in stile scandinavo; ora disponibile in oltre 30 nazioni nel mondo ad includere il punto vendita italiano aperto di recente.

Se lo stile scandinavo mal si adatta alla tua casa e sei alla ricerca di una sensazione diversa le opzioni sono molteplici. Dalla tipografia, alle citazioni (come quella scelta da noi e che è visibile nell’introduzione di questo articolo), stampe vintage, o il celebre ritratto di Kate Moss che si è presente negli appartamenti di tanti millennials. Ce n’è veramente per tutti i gusti.

The posters that are featured on our gallery wall, starting from the upper left with the Colosseo and going clockwise are: Colosseum (50x70cm), Beautiful Destinations (30x40), SHC - David (50x70), and finally, Ciao Bella (30x40). They are all featured with Desenio's Gold Picture Frames, also available on the site. 

A partire dall’angolo in alto a sinistra, i poster che abbiamo scelto per il nostro soggiorno sono: Colosseum (50x70cm), Beautiful Destinations (30x40), SHC - David (50x70), e da ultimo Ciao Bella (30x40). Sono tutti presentati con le cornici dorate Desenio Gold Picture Frames, anch’esse disponibili sul sito.

​The combination of four prints worked best for the dimensions of our wall and we chose to go the classic route with gold framing as our main piece of furniture in the room boasts wooden columns with floral gold-painted capitals. Within a week of ordering, our prints had arrived in Milan and a couple days later, were already filling up our empty wall-space with one wonder of the world, Rome's Colosseum, and what could arguably be considered the world's most perfect man, Michelangelo's David. I had to convince my own perfect Italian man to agree to the "Ciao Bella" typography print, but since he said "sì", I haven't stopped sitting underneath it with a glass of fizzy Franciacorta and a good book. Our bilingual cat Puffo is also in love with this renewed space and we often find him lounging in the Papasan chair, the perfect addition to this cozy scene.

La combinazione scelta da noi si adatta perfettamente alle dimensioni della nostra parete; abbiamo scelto un tocco più classico con la cornice dorata perché si abbina perfettamente alla elegante boiserie in legno e ai suoi capitelli con dettagli in foglia d’oro. Dopo una settimana dall’ordine, le stampe sono arrivate a Milano e dopo un altro paio di giorni, quella che prima era una parete vuota, ora era decorata con una delle sette meraviglie del mondo, il Colosseo e quello che da tutti è considerato la rappresentazione del più perfetto corpo d’uomo, il David di Michelangelo. Ho poi dovuto convincere il mio “perfetto uomo” ad accettare la stampa Ciao Bella, ma siccome alla fine ha acconsentito, non mi sono ancora stancata di sedermi proprio sotto quel quadro a sorseggiare un bicchiere di Franciacorta mentre leggo un buon libro. Anche Puffo, il nostro gatto bilingue,  sembra apprezzare questo nuovo angolo e lo troviamo spesso lì a rilassarsi sulla poltrona Papasan, perfetto accessorio a questa calda ambientazione.
 
The posters & frames shown in this post are from #Desenio (They are now available in Italy on desenio.it and they also have a 25% discount on the site!.) Check it out!

What are your thoughts about poster wall decor? Do you like our new gallery wall dedicated to all things Italian? Let me know in the comments or as always, on Facebook. ​

In accordance with the FTC regulations for bloggers, please note that this post was created in collaboration with Desenio. All photographs are my own, as are the opinions I've shared in regards to the products and/or services mentioned. 

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at these ones or the Category "Moving to Italy":
​
​Moving to Italy Series: Housing and Student Accommodation​
The Most Important Thing I've Learned After Living in Italy for 4 Months
​Five Things to Do Before Selling All Your Belongings and Moving to Italy
​Quiz Time: Will You be a Happy Expat in Italy?
A Memorable Expat Moment, from the Book "Once Upon an Expat"
​How to (Legally) Move and Live in Italy Oh You're an EU Expat in Italy? That's cute.
Immigration Update: Italy, I'm BACK!
Should You Move to Italy?
Living in Italy, Speaking in English 

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The biggest problem about my blog format is that I don't have that fun, automated "Related Posts" feature that pulls old posts and suggests them to readers. Unfortunately the platform I use (for the technologically-impaired), doesn't have that option so I've started to manually do it. Today, I actually went through my entire blog from the latest post all the way back to the very first post: The Backstory. In doing so, I stumbled upon so many great posts that basically never get to see the light of day which is extremely unfortunate seeing as I had some fun content, even when I had about 2 views of my blog per month, 1 view which was my mother. For this reason, I'm going to do this "blast from the past" of oldies but goodies. I found so many that I love so I'll probably do this in several posts. Here are the first TEN that made me smile, hope you enjoy these! 

1. Why Learning Italian Made Me Appreciate My Grandparents

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The other day, I went to lunch with my grandma at our favourite noodle house in the city and I watched with glowing pride as she shakily wrote out our order in the Chinese characters, so intricate that they make English look like primitive caveman writing. 

The fact that my grandparents and parents are bilingual (and trilingual) never crossed my mind in the past and it was surely not something I looked upon with admiration or pride. Only now can I appreciate what a feat this is. Only now are their accents enduring, sweet little reminders of how far they've come, how far we've come. I will try to remind myself of this every time I feel embarrassed or ashamed of my North American accent in Italian, my inherent inability to roll my Rs will now be my battle scar or better yet, my victory flag dancing in the wind.

​2. The Unofficial List of Household and Clothing Items You Never Knew You Needed Until You've Lived in Italy.

Snippet from this post:

1. The bidet- ah, instant freshness and assurance you won't go the whole day with pieces of toilet paper (or worse) stuck to your backside. 
2. Chilly Gel- see previous post all about this glorious invention. 
3. Bathrobes- while they exist back home, I never used one habitually but the Italians love them and will use them post-shower in place of a towel which I find slightly annoying because I can't wring out my hair properly with one. 
4. A food scale- necessary because the recipes here don't use cups and tsp, so you have the great pleasure of weighing each and every ingredient. 
5. Collared shirts under sweaters- Italian men might be allergic to wool or have a phobia of sweater to skin contact because anytime they wear anything resembling a sweater, a collared shirt must go under it.

3. How to find your way back to the basics? Move to Italy.

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Italy helps me get back to the basics and I think I love her for that reason alone. In Canada, I had a personal trainer. In Italy, the hills and valleys dotted with vineyards is my gym. In many ways, that says it all. Here, you don't have to spend $50 minimum for an excellent bottle of wine (as often is the case on the other side of the pond), in fact €5 can get you a pretty darn good wine and you can even enjoy it whilst drinking in an equally impressive view (because drinking in public is allowed, yipee!). Most times, I am happiest with a view like the one above- a plate with warm bread and a milky ball of just-made mozzarella. So I think Leonardo had it right saying simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication, although for some of us, it takes changing countries to realize it. 

4. Sh*t my Italian friends say

​Snippet from this post:

"Look guys, a squirtle!" 
English translation: Look guys, a squirrel. 
Commentary: So in Italian, squirrel is scoiattolo. But somehow, the combination became a Pokemon. 

"Do you have a rubber?" 
English translation: Do you have an eraser? 
Commentary: Depending on where you are in the world, a rubber can be one of two things...

"Don't worry, I'll finger it out."
English translation: Don't worry, I'll figure it out. 
Commentary: It's probably not wise to tell anyone that you are going to finger something. 

5.​Second-language Personalities
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​Snippet from this post:

I have an Italian personality. 

In Italian, I am fairly certain I come across as an dumb, ill mannered snob...!

I say dumb because when you learn a second language, even after four years of University grammar, the biggest component you lack is vocabulary. This is because vocabulary is built on actually being in situations or conversations. You can read textbooks and see the same word over and over but it will never stick until you have to use it. Therefore I lack the expanse of vocabulary that I have in English. And as a lover of the power of language, I feel especially dumb when not knowing the word for something. In English, I'm a thesaurus. In Italian, I find myself pointing and saying quella cosa lì (that thing there), come si chiama (what's it called), and questo qui (this here) alot.

6. Sh*t my mom says in Italy ​

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"How do you use this thing, every time I try, the water sprays everywhere except where it's supposed to!" - my mom referring to the bidet.

7. Throwback Thursday: Quintessential Italy

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​
Ah the moment you stumble upon a deserted alley in the midst of the tourist hustle-and-bustle...the world just stops and you are suddenly transported to a simpler time. The chatter of a dozen languages fades away and all you hear is the gentle breeze and the rustle of fresh laundry drying. 

8. advice for expats- learn to celebrate small daily victories. ​

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​One thing that is nice about being an expat anywhere in the world is that you get to give yourself a hypothetical pat on the back (or celebratory glass of wine)  for just about any minuscule accomplishment during your day. What I mean is that at the beginning, you get to be justly and superfluously happy for achieving a small victory of daily life such as taking the bus without ending up in the outskirts of town or ordering your coffee and having it arrive exactly the way you actually wanted it.

9. Top 10 Things About Living in Italy that I'm Not Used To (Yet)

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There are a million aspects of life that change dramatically when you move to a new country. Here's a few that I come face to face with every day that still catch me off guard. 

1. Having to "close up" the house at night. Italian houses all have these heavy wooden enclosures on the outside of the actual glass window that must be opened and closed every day. I keep forgetting to close them and Massi freaks out every morning thanking the Lord we weren't robbed or murdered in the night. 

10. Re: How to Dress Like An Italian Man
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​Condé Nast Traveller recently did a slideshow on How to Dress Like An Italian Man, find it here. And while I very much enjoy any how-to-dress-like-blank features, I had a few disagreements with this particular article. I suppose I am not an Italian man so perhaps I have no right to disagree in the first place, but having been very much associated with one for quite awhile, I feel like I have a bit of an insider approach to the whole concept. First off, the author states 'it starts with an unconstructed, unlined blazer or suit, which exudes a vibe of rumpled nonchalance.' Wait, what. Rumpled? RUMPLED?! That word should not even be whispered around an Italian man, nevertheless used in an article talking about how to dress like one.


Which one was your favorite? Let me know in the comments and stay tuned for more personally-selected posts from the archives! 


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Let me first start off saying this might get messy. This topic tends to bring up very different opinions on the matter and I just want to say that both are correct. When Lauren Collins, writer for The New Yorker, fell in love with a Frenchman, their relationship was monolingual. They spoke English to each other, as do many mixed couples. In fact, it’s funny that French and Italian are often cited as the languages of love because based on all the international love stories I’ve come to know, I’d say English has been overlooked. None of these relationships would exist were it not for a somewhat-formed backbone of English, so often harped upon for not being as sexy as Italian or as intellectual as German. So while many couples are created on English, how many actually go on to reciprocally learn each other’s language? We might ask ourselves another question here which is: is it necessary? If both people speak a common language to a certain level of fluency, is there an urgent, specific need to add more to the mix? Collins’s husband is quoted in the book as saying “speaking to you in English is like touching you with gloves”. This is quite the statement. It essentially implies that without speaking our partner’s native language, we are somewhat limited to understanding not only the person we have in front of us, but the relationship as a whole. I have to disclose that I bat for Lauren’s team. I started studying my husband’s native tongue, Italian, nine years ago and haven’t stopped since. We live a fairly bilingual existence in Italy where we make a conscious (to answer your question, yes it gets annoying at times) effort to switch languages and give both English and Italian a chance during the day. Our cat understands Italian and English, though I think his Italian is probably stronger.  While the years have gone by and it’s hard to think back to the beginning, I can’t imagine what it would be like to not know Italian. On a pure relationship-level, knowing Italian has brought us to a fairer playing field. We each get to take an intellectual swing at things and since intelligence, to me, is extremely sexy, I find myself particularly turned on when my husband uses American slang properly or remembers that future tense cannot be used after a time clause. I think the feeling is reciprocal. I’ve always known my husband was smart but when I hear him speak formally in Italian, I know it even more. In Italian, he’s just a bit wittier, a bit cruder, a bit more vulgar, a bit more romantic, a bit more of a smart ass. In Italian, he’s just a bit more him and it’s that little bit that I’d be missing out on if I hadn’t ventured into Italian. His terms of endearment for me and pet names are all in Italian, mine for him are in English. Make what you will of that. The point is, I do think you’re missing out on something by not sharing your partner’s native tongue. It might be something so small that you can’t even put a finger on it.

Here’s a very quick example of something that I’ve discovered between Italian and English:
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In Italian, there is the futuro semplice. In English, we technically have three forms of expressing future (not counting Future Progressive or the Perfect tenses): will + verb, going to + verb, and Present Progressive used to talk about near future plans. When I teach Italians about the differences in using Future tenses in English, I find that the greatest struggle is that Italians can’t wrap their heads around the cultural and linguistic difference in knowing something will happen for sure (a plan, or having the intention) and if it’s just a thought, a happy hope but not guaranteed. In English, if we plan to see a movie with friends, we say “I’m going to see a movie with friends” and not “I will go see a movie with friends”. Italians always struggle with why to choose the former over the latter. In many ways, I think it might also be a cultural thing. Nothing is certain, what if something better comes up? Non-committal has my husband’s name next to it in the dictionary but knowing Italian makes me more understanding of his very nature. English asks someone “will you marry me?” while Italian asks “mi vuoi sposare?”. Isn’t that intriguing? English wants to know your future action, Italian wants to know if you want something at that moment of asking. Future vs. Want. Promise vs. Desire. A subtle difference owed to language and culture.

​In conclusion, well, there isn’t really one. That being said,  I’d love to hear your own experiences and opinions on this topic. Write me in comments or on the ! 

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at these ones:
​Book in Progress: When in French by Lauren Collins
​How to Fight and Make Love in Two Languages
​My Hypothetical Italian Teenagers Won't Have Varsity Jackets or Homecomings
​My Canadian Identity Abroad in Italy: The Conundrum
FIVE Ways I've Become More ITALIAN in Canada
​Annoying Things Non-Canadians Say About Canada 
​Two Sides of the Italy Coin 
​Dating Diversity: Italy vs. Canada (and North America)
​The Most Difficult Thing You’ll Face as an Expat: Having a Sick Family Member Back Home
​Daily Things I Never Did Before Moving to Italy

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In Italianish:
​There should be no reason for a young Italian with a job who lives at home without a mortgage to say things to me like “ma non c’é niente in Canada” or “non mi sembra niente di speciale” (riferendo al bellissimo Lake Louise che si trova a Banff National Park). Il nostro mondo è molto più grande di quanto pensate e ogni paese ha la sua bellezza. Aprite la mente all’opportunità, alle culture diverse, magari imparerete qualcosa tipo...cosa c’è da vedere in Canada.  Go, see with your own eyes, and report back.

In English:
There should be no reason for a young Italian with a job who lives at home without a mortgage to say things to me like "but there's nothing in Canada" or, referring to beautiful Lake Louise, "it doesn't seem like anything special to me". Our world is much bigger than you think and every country has its own beauty. Open your minds to opportunity, to different cultures, maybe you'll learn something like...what there is to see in Canada. Go, see with your own eyes, and report back. 

 

(I wrote this because I personally think it’s unacceptable if you are financially-able, to be ignorant of the world that you live in. This applies to all young people, not just Italians. We are fortunate to live in a world where commercial air travel is more or less in the reach of the middle-class. Use it. See this great, big, wonderful world of ours and learn to speak from experience, not presumption or assumption.) ​xoxo.
​
If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at these ones:

​You don't have to live forever-
Yes, Some of Us Need Italy. ​
​International Love Stories: A Tall, Dark, and Handsome Spaniard
I Beg Young People to TRAVEL. ​
International Love Stories ​
The Wanderlust Mantra: Eat, Pray, Love. ​
Curating Alberta's Beauty ​

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This morning I started a project to create a user-driven compilation of all the best Italophile Instagram accounts to follow, the only criteria were that those included love Italy and/or Italian as much as yours truly. We did it “chain-reaction” style in order to get the widest reach and the most diversity in contributions so anyone who was added was then asked to add their own favorite “Italophile” to the ever-growing list. It's easy to find a "blog roll call" or a list of recommended blogs to follow these days, but I have yet to come across a community-curated list of Instagram accounts. The best part about this list is that all the featured accounts have essentially been "hand-picked" by YOU AND ME, mutual lovers of Italy and all things Italian. Social media is powerful now, it’s even opened up a whole new career pathway for bloggers and “influencers”. But the best part about it, in my opinion, is its ability to connect us with a community with similar interests, share the love, and give us the chance to even one day, meet in person! I know the Italy-blogger sphere is a big one (who doesn’t fall in love with Italy?!) so I wanted to make this list available to anyone searching for inspiration and for current and aspiring Italy lovers….So if that's you, drumroll please...HERE'S YOUR TRIBE, (listed in alphabetical order):

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If you don’t see yourself or someone you know on this list but you/they love love love Italy too, please message me on any social media for an add and I’ll update it ASAP. And vice versa, if you ended up on this "directory" and you'd prefer to be taken off, let me know! For any future Italy accounts that you come across, please feel free to tag it with #questadolcevita to give me a heads up! Also, if anyone has any other ideas as to how we could organize this list better, I'm all ears. I would obviously have loved to organize them by city or genre (foodie vs. expat life, for example) but as you can imagine, it would be a HUGE undertaking. 

Finally, grazie a tutti that made this little project possible by taking the time to contribute and tag fellow Italophiles! 

When I was imagining this blog even before it had a name, I knew it had to have this motto: for those who dream and those who dare to live the dream. And that is just it, Italy is for dreamers. Many people who have made the move here once upon a time have since moved back to their hometowns or to cities easier to pronounce. A country that is often romanticized in film and books is often subject to criticism from Italians and expats alike, all complaining that la dolce vita, the so-called sweet life, is an illusion, that the Rome of Kylie Flavell’s latest offering is non-existent. I have to disagree.

For me, life is still, and always will be, it's most cinematic in Italy. There are so many little moments in a day that make me stop and stare and just BE. There are moments that fill you up with awe, wonder, glory, and calm. It is in the effervescent bubbles in a glass of prosecco raised up to friends, cherries picked up from a corner fruttivendolo in Sicily still warm from the sun, a toothy and all-too-confident grin from a fishmonger, a sunset in Tuscany as you settle into a dinner that you already know is going to be the best meal of your life (at least for this week),  ducking into  gastronomia after gastronomia in a random town, on a desperate arancini search, lingering to stay in somone’s company by ordering one too many digestivi and teetering home on cobblestone in heels and praying that you don’t ruin this pair as well but then saying to hell with it because è da tanto tempo che non sei più andata a trovare la tua calzolaia preferita (it's been awhile since the last time you paid a visit to your favorite shoemaker) …This is where the sweet life exists. In my opinon, if you’re unable to be present in these moments, to capture them, that’s when you become a non-believer. Many Italians as well, can’t appreciate these little things anymore because of the constant push to be like America and be all about the push- the push for more. But I think, the dolce vita is just the exact opposite, Not so much the push, but the pull to enjoy every minute and find the beauty all around us.

And Italy, well, she pulls in so many different directions. 

Italy is for dreamers and for romantics like Kylie and I. Do you agree with us? Does the dolce vita still exist? Watch the video and let me know. 

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at the Category Inspiration and Motivation or at posts such as these and get inspired by love and love for Italy!:

On Airports and Love
​Yes, Some of Us Need Italy. 
​International Love Stories: A Tall, Dark, and Handsome Spaniard
At Least You're in Italy! 
 
International Love Stories