It was that moment that every lover dreads, the end of summer. The coloured umbrellas and lettini were being rinsed of the salt, sun, and sea that had plummeted them over the last three months. I watched as they were folded one by one and carefully piled away to await another summer a year from now. I sat with him, shoulders touching, watching the very last shard of the Italian sun dance across the inky blue waves set out in front of us. We sat in silence, knowing there was nothing more to be said. I was going home to start my degree and he would be staying in the sleepy town where he grew up. It had been the summer of stories, the kind that belong to books and he was the kind of boy that belonged on pages, the kind I always loved to read about and the one I would write into all the chapters of my life. More than that though, he belonged to Italy. When we were desperate, I tried so hard to imagine him in a double-breasted peacoat and tan loafers, wearing actual socks. Walking in Williamsburg on a Saturday under the amber leaves of fall or sitting with a paper coffee cup on the steps of my parents' brownstone watching the city pass by. But I simply couldn't conjure the image in my head. He has the sea running through his veins and the sun in his hair. He even tastes like the Mediterranean - foreign and forbidden, salty and yet somehow sweet. I thought about that Atticus poem, 'love her but leave her wild'. This time, the wild isn't me but him. In his heart of hearts, he knows I have to leave him even though he's been supplicating me, telling me he'll move across the Atlantic and into my one bedroom, sixth floor walkup. Naples is the furthest he's ever travelled from his hometown on the coast.

I'll come to the New York, he says, adding a superfluous article without thinking about it.
And what will you do? I ask.
Be with you, he answers.

Pleads. Be with me. It's such a simple solution but somehow, it's the simplicity of it all that hurts the most, the fact that we can't concede ourselves the beauty of simplicity because it would require one of us to live where we don't belong and isn't that the worst fate of all? To live a life that was never meant for you? He knows this too and that's why we have to say goodbye. I used to think I was a romantic, but now I realize I'm just a realist who likes a good story. I'm watching him now, drinking in every second like I'll never be able to satisfy this thirst again and maybe I won't. Maybe I'll be back here in fifty years from now, sitting under the sun with wrinkles and grey hair, a pocketbook full of photographs and a life lived and out of the corner of my eye, I'll be looking for a boy I once knew. I need to memorize him, I tell myself. His dark eyes and the way they speak Italian to me with a look. The curve of his back and the way the muscles in his jaw are tense, as if he's holding back words. It's dark now and my plane is in the morning. The couples start making their way towards the square where the smell of today's catch is beckoning. I know what waits for us- a long goodbye. The worst kind and not the ending I want for this, for us. So I turn my head, kiss him slowly and with the taste of salt and sun and everything I ever wanted on my lips, I stand up and walk away, a certain homesickness already settling itself in my stomach as the distance between us grows.

If you enjoyed this short story, you will love my book.
Wander(lust) is available on Amazon worldwide and online at major book retailers such as Waterstones, Indigo Chapters, and many others.
​


See more Creative Writing here.

Dear fellow Italy lovers. This is our last linkup. I don't want to write a long goodbye, they are just not for me, but I hope it's enough to say that all good things come to an end and this has been an absolute joy over the past two years, we are utterly grateful to have connected with all of you. We hope you will keep sharing the love, let's use the hashtag #DolceVitaBloggers on Instagram. Grazie a tutti.

I’m the only daughter of a hybrid parental set of a first generation Chinese-Canadian and an immigrant father. Growing up, we were given every opportunity and conceded every material whim, I can truly say we didn’t want for anything and I know I can only thank my mother and late father for that. However, being (half) immigrant parents, they were also very insistent that I strive for success. First, success was in school so I was the perfect Asian stereotype of studiousness. If you brought home 99% on an exam, my mother was the kind of person who would ask you where the 1% went. I wouldn’t call her a helicopter parent or a tiger mom in the traditional sense. She instilled in me the drive to be the best person I could. I wasn’t only locked up in my room until I became a doctor/lawyer (yes, should be read doctor-slash-lawyer, in the sense of both those things simultaneously). I was enrolled in competitive dance, was part of swim team, debate, yearbook, and in my final year of high school, in addition to a full AP course load, I also submitted an AP fine art portfolio. I wanted to be a million things but Asian parents always think there’s only one possibility. No matter how talented of an artist you are or how much you love English literature and creative writing, those are all endeavours to be pursued as hobbies. So off to university I went, taking biology and organic chemistry and all the pre-requisites for medicine. Languages were the one indulgence I gave myself, starting with Russian which I intended to become fluent in. But somewhere between my third year of university and the rest of my white-picket-fence life, I met an Italian boy who made me dream of a dolce vita. I gave up the medicine idea and decided to do a “faster” pharmacy degree which would act as my Plan B should my Italian affair come to an abrupt and unexpected end sometime down the line. Yet through all the science-saturated semesters, I never lost my love of writing and reading. I devoured books like they were going out of style (turns out they were). Some people might wonder what the point of essentially becoming a pharmacist was if I was just going to pack up and move to Italy and never dispense another drug again. Turns out, it’s true you can never be overeducated or overdressed. I ended up needing that degree to apply for an EU Blue Card, essentially a work permit for highly-skilled professionals. That card let me stay in Italy on my own. It meant I could stay with or without a man, with or without the help of anyone except my very own merit. To this day it’s still one of the things I’m the most proud of. Starting “over” is daunting and in order to cope, I turned back to what had been delegated “hobby” status: writing. I started this blog in 2014, writing for myself and to keep friends and family updated. There are posts from my very best days in Italy and the very worst days of my life. I’ve mourned the loss of home and my father here. Despair and joy have poured through my fingers and into a Word document. I’ve celebrated here. The tiny victories in the evolution of language learning and the huge victories like when I passed my Italian driver’s license exam. Through it all, words saved me and at the same time, they somehow found you. Readers. The most important part of any story. So that’s why I’ve written this post today. To take you back to beginning so you’d know how I got here, to the release of my very first book. I’d like you to know, if you’re reading this, that your passions can become something tangible and that life may take you on some serious ups and downs and to places you’d never think you’d ever go. You might stray way off the path that you had set for yourself like I did but maybe you’re actually headed towards something even better. This book is my wildest dream come true. It’s been a labour of love and I’m so proud to share it with you. I hope that you’ll read it somewhere beautiful with a glass of something strong and that you will find a bit of yourself in it and you’ll remember that time in Paris, in Rome, or wherever you’ve been or dreamed of being. Thank you, dear friends. I’d like to raise a virtual toast here- to adventure, may it find you and may you embrace it like a long-lost friend.


Wander(lust) is available on Amazon worldwide.

Hi everyone! We would like to welcome you to the September #Dolcevitabloggers linkup. The Linkup button below will be available from Sunday 22nd September and open for one week.

Remember that this linkup is for any Italy related blog posts or vlogs each month. The prompts below are purely to give you some inspiration should you need it.

We look forward to reading and sharing all of your submissions. We do comment on every post and share! So join in! We would love it if you can all comment and share each others posts too. Share the love!

How To Join

1. Follow your hosts on Instagram and/or Twitter to stay up to date about upcoming #DolceVitaBloggers news. We’re all about creating community, so we’ll follow you back too!

Kelly: Instagram: Twitter:
Jasmine: Instagram: Twitter:
Kristie: Instagram: Twitter:

2. Write your post or film your vlog (in English or Italian) on anything Italy related. Include the Dolce Vita Bloggers badge (html code below for bloggers) and mention your hosts Kellyitalianatheart.com, Jasmine questadolcevita.com and Kristie mammaprada.com at the beginning of your post or vlog description.

3. Publish your post or vlog on your own site. From the third Sunday of the month for one week you can link up using the next step.

3. Link up! After you have published your post, Add your link to this months #DolceVitaBloggers linkup by clicking on the blue “add your link” button at the bottom of this post (it will sync with all hosts’ posts). Then your post will be added to the link up! (Here are some

I have only been ecstatic a few times in my life. The first was when I finished my pharmacy board exams. The second, when I was granted a Blue Card to work in Europe. But the third and most recent was the moment I was handed my Italian driver’s license. This post is not going to be an informative summary of how to get your license and what the steps required are. I didn’t feel this was necessary as there are many blog posts out there (some I will link below) that address the process extremely well. Instead, I will just provide a descriptive commentary on the experience, particularly of the practical exam, for your reading pleasure.

It was a sweltering August day, just more than a week before the mythical Ferragosto and I was part of the last group to undertake the practical exam before everyone was to go on mandatory hiatus from life. I decided to wear denim cut-offs, a bright pink T-shirt, and platforms. I know my footwear choice seems questionable and in fact, the other examinees were giving me the side eye as we waited, but for whatever reason I’ve found that it’s easier for me to drive a standard with heels. If you’re having difficulty, I suggest giving it a try in your best Jimmy Choos. Keeping the heel in contact with the floor of the car, you can use it as a point of leverage which eases your foot off the clutch and makes gear changes smooth as well as really helps with that dreaded “partenza in salita” (starting the car on a hill).

Much to my dismay, I was not the first student to go. I had arrived more than an hour early to do some last minute driving around with my instructor Beppe. What this really entailed was him ditching me to go for coffee with the examiner and other instructors and once we did hop in the car, we stealthily and in full Italian-style, followed the exam cars around to get a glimpse of what we were up against. This was further augmented by a phone call every 30 minutes where the other instructors would phone Beppe to give him a run-down of where they had gone and what the examiner had asked. When Beppe noticed my nerves, he told me that I could watch him during the exam and proceeded to explain the various “signs” he would give me during my parking: looking out the window = keep backing up, turning his head forward = stop, tilting to the left = you’re good to go! I have to say, I love this about Italy.

While waiting for my turn, I got more and more nervous as each teenage girl that hopped out flashed an “I passed bitches” smile. When it was finally my turn, I thought I would turn on the charm and compliment my Roman examiner on being from Rome. This was met with a one word answer and an eyebrow raise. I decided to shut up and drive. Not one soul talked to me after that, where they would have lunch afterwards was their main topic of discussion. After an “inversione di marcia” (I can’t remember the technical name for this in English but it’s that one where you turn your car around at a dead end by going forward, then backward, then forward again), a parallel park that was masterful, a mini partenza in salita where I almost stalled, and a quick loop around two roundabouts where I actually did stall momentarily for a millisecond, we were back at our starting point. No one said anything except for the Roman examiner who let out a cryptic “è bella decisa la signorina”. This was followed by more silence as he ruffled papers in the background and Beppe got out of the car leaving me solo with all the anxiety in the world and the Roman eyebrow guy. Finally I decided to turn around and peek at what he was doing and he handed me my license, fully printed and ready to go. He said nothing, not even congratulations. I wanted to hug and kiss him. I got out of the car and promptly hugged and kissed Beppe and resisted the urge to take a selfie as I thought that might look unprofessional. And just like that, it was over. Six months of agony later, I was holding what felt like Willy Wonka’s Golden Ticket, the metaphorical key to a lifetime of happiness minus the lick-able wallpaper. As I walked shakily to the sidewalk, two 18 year old boys waiting their turn approached me for insider info that I happily divulged, flushed and running on an adrenaline I hadn’t felt since the time I went bungee-jumping. Once I messaged every single person I’ve ever known in my life, I sat alone a little bench, changed shoes and began the long walk home. I couldn’t help but think, in some corny way, how this entire experience was worth it. From the moment I hesitantly walked into the autoscuola to this one, I had successfully gone through a typically Italian rite of passage. I felt one with the Italian universe, in some way solidifying my feeling of belonging. Every person in a car I pass, I feel a kindred connection too. I did what you did. I’ve been there too. I sat in those crooked desks that aren’t kind to you if your BMI is not perfect, I read 300 pages of mainly superfluous information about vehicles I will never drive… I walked through that fire and came out and so I belong to Italy too.

Some excellent blogs about getting a driver’s license in Italy:
License to drive | The Florentine
Getting an Italian Driver's License - Tenuta San Carlo
How to get a driver's license in Italy: Part 1
How to Get an Italian Driver's License - From Italy, With Love

Like many of you, I’d always dreamed of living in Italy. As a young girl growing up in Queens, New York, I lived across the street from my Sicilian grandparents. It was the best blessing in my life. As Sicilian grandparents do, they taught me to love fresh food, to dress my best for all occasions, and to play a mean game of scopa.
 
But hands down, the most important thing they taught me was the love of family. I was constantly visiting them—and if I wasn’t visiting, I was calling them to get all the neighborhood gossip—and constantly learning about my heritage. When I look back now upon my formative years I often chuckle… especially because I can’t believe how I didn’t know the English word for “artichoke” until I was 12 (in my house, it was always a caccòcciula)!
 
It was that love of family that inspired me to dig deeper into my origins. Color me surprised when, during a deep dive into the history of Italy during my freshman year of high school, I discovered I qualified for Italian dual citizenship. “Wait…” I asked myself, “You mean I’m already an Italian dual citizen and I don’t even know it?”
 
Suddenly my dream of one day moving to Italy didn’t seem so far-fetched at all!
 
I immediately set out to gather all the information I could. Back in those days there was practically no information online about it. So I decided I’d become an expert. I’d pore over everything I could find in both Italian and English about the subject. Eventually, I figured it out. In order to receive recognition, I had to show an unbroken chain of Italian citizenship leading from my last Italian-born ancestor, my grandfather, back to me.
 
I could do that.
 
I gathered birth, marriage, and naturalization records for my grandparents, my parents, and me. Fluent in Italian, I translated them too (though you can hire a pro to do this for you if you can’t). I got the necessary apostilles. Finally, the culmination of 3 years’ worth of work went into a big folder and I showed up for my consular appointment ready to rock.
 
Placing a manicured finger over my folder, the lady behind the desk grimaced. “Signorina,” she said. “Your application cannot be processed. There is a name discrepancy.”
 
A what?
 
Apparently, my grandfather’s last name at birth was di Falco and it changed to de Falco in the U.S. A tiny difference of one letter stood between me and my Italian dual citizenship. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. Defeated, I thanked her for my time, took my folder and sauntered down the steps and out the door. I’d never felt so small before.
 
After consoling myself in a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream at home, I vowed to get my revenge. Two can play the bureaucracy game, I thought as I shoveled a spoonful of ice cream angrily into my mouth. And so I did.
 
Weeks later, I went back to the Italian consulate to obtain my student visa. By the time I’d readied my application, I was already college-bound and knew I was going to study in Italy no matter what. My student visa application was initially secondary to my citizenship application, but now I was going to use my student visa to get Italian citizenship. Hey—you’ve gotta be resourceful when you can! The woman behind the glass window complimented my Italian, handed me my American passport with the Italian visa, and wished me luck.
 
Months later when I arrived in Italy I marched right to the ufficio anagrafe, dual citizenship documents in hand. Mr. Bevilacqua ushered me into his office with a smile. He probably spent two minutes looking at everything but to me it felt like an eternity. The tick-tock-tick-tock of the clock on the wall mirrored my heart beating in my chest.
 
“Okay, everything’s here! I’ll take your application.”
 
“But what about the name discrepancy?”
 
“What discrepancy?” he winked. “You wouldn’t believe the doozies we see in this office. A one letter difference is nothing.”
 
You could have knocked me over with a feather. This was it—I was in! I signed my application form, shook his hand, and practically skipped out of the office and onto the streets. Exactly 2 months and 21 days later, I opened my mailbox to find the confirmation I’d so desperately wanted for 3 and a half years:
 
You’ve hereby been recognized as an Italian citizen jure sanguinis.
 
And with that, the first thing I did when I got home was make myself a stuffed artichoke in memory of my grandfather.
 

 About the Author
As owner of Get Italian Citizenship, Inc. Audra has helped more than 200 clients and their families obtain their Italian passports. Her deep love of Italy and some serious trial and error has made her one of the industry’s foremost Italian dual citizenship experts. If you would like to obtain Italian dual citizenship, please visit www.getitaliancitizenship.com today. 

If you enjoyed this guest post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at these ones:
​Guest Post: Documents and Duties Required When Moving to Italy
​Guest Post: How I Followed My Dreams of Becoming a Writer in Rome
Guest Post: My Story with the Italian Language​
​THE ITALY EXPERIENCE: Canadian Expat vs. American Exchange Student

Popular Posts about Living Abroad:
​When La Dolce Vita Is No Longer Sweet and Why It's Ok to Say "Arrivederci" Italy
​Italy is Not The Magic Cure
​The Loss of Home:  Why Living Abroad Fucks You Over For Life
​Revelations: To Think of Love in English
​Creative Writing: Call Me Baby 
​A Step-by-Step Guide on How to Hate Living in Italy
​My Hypothetical Italian Teenagers Won't Have Varsity Jackets or Homecomings
​My Canadian Identity Abroad in Italy: The Conundrum
FIVE Ways I've Become More ITALIAN in Canada
​Annoying Things Non-Canadians Say About Canada 
​Two Sides of the Italy Coin 
​Dating Diversity: Italy vs. Canada (and North America)
​Daily Things I Never Did Before Moving to Italy
​
If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at these ones or at the Expat Life or the Moving to Italy category on the sidebar. Happy Reading! 

This is part of the #DolceVitaBloggers Linkup. Add any Italy-related post to the linkup party below and join the fun. Our goal is to connect over our shared love of Italy. Thank you all who have participated before, and those who join in the future!
​
If you have any questions, please feel free to leave a comment below!
​
Past #DolceVitaBlogger Link-Ups:
#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #17 June 2019
#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #16 May 2019
#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #14 March 2019
#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup – #13 February 2019
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup – #12 January 2019
#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup – #11 October 2018 – Hilarious Travel Mishaps
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup – #10 September 2018 – Favourite Italian Recipe
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #9 August 2018 - Culture Shock
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #8 July 2018 - La Dolce Vita
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #7 June 2018 - Hidden Gems in Italy
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #6 May 2018 - Five Italian Words
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #5 April 2018 - The Perfect Day in Italy
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #4 March 2018 - International Women's Day
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #3 February 2018 - A Love Letter to Italy
#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #2 January 2018 - Favourite Italian City
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #1 December 2017 - 'The Italian Connection

Dear Curious Co-Worker,

All I had to do was read up until the second paragraph and I can already tell you that your intriguing Italian co-worker is most definitely interested (although whether he’s single is another thing to be investigated!). The key is that you keep catching him looking over at you. Italian men are all about the eyes and the eyes never lie, Chico. They keep the kind of eye contact during conversations that makes you squirm in your seat and you will almost always lose a staring contest with them. They flirt with their eyes and every time you catch him is most likely completely intentional. You asked about whether Italians think all foreign girls are "easy". Let's be honest, it's pretty damn hard to keep your clothes on with that deadly combination of accent and bedroom eyes and many, many a foreigner has fallen into the trap and I judge NONE OF YOU. However, I must disagree that this makes Italians think we are not "girlfriend" or "wife" material and I have the evidence to prove it in the form of NUMEROUS Love Stories, read them. Moving onto the part about whether you should ask him out or not, I personally took the liberty of polling all the Italian men that follow me on Instagram as well as asking my husband in a completely non-subtle manner. My husband just laughed at me for asking the question which I basically translated as such: as long as you both get what you want, who cares who initiated! The results of my survey are below (I asked- Italian men: do you like a woman who makes the first move?):

So that's a pretty definite GO FOR IT from the peanut gallery. Since he's from a small town, this love interest of yours might be more on the traditional side but why not let him show that off by opening doors and complimenting you and paying for dinner while you get the ball rolling on this? Sometimes, part of the appeal of mixed culture relationships is that you end up surprising each other and it might just be that stereotypical American forward-ness that he finds both scary and sexy. The next move is ask this guy out, maybe something low-key and casual...after work drinks perhaps? With regards to sex, I wouldn't give away the cookie too early on in the game. I'm a big believer of Steve Harvey and his cookie theory (if you don't know what I'm talking about, go get yourself the book "Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady" STAT). He has a 90 day rule. In my opinion, it's a tad on the long side and you could shorten that down as you see fit but I do like the concept and I think Italian men do as well. In the end, it's not about sex per se, but about making him work for it and believe me, an Italian man will put in the work like he's getting paid overtime. So hold out a bit and relish in what you thought was long lost nowadays...COURTSHIP. Bring on the flowers, love notes, midnight texts, and extended eye contact! Let me know how it goes!

P.S. You might also be interested in this post from ages ago: Asians and Italians…The Perfect Cross-Cultural Cocktail? ​

Quick Note: this is a new Category I'm testing out as a means to answer some of the e-mails or comments that I receive. They are modified or edited slightly for grammar and clarity purposes and the names made anonymous and any other identifying names or features have been changed. If you have a question, please write to Dear Jasmine at questadolcevitablog(at)gmail.com or leave me a comment. I hope my answers can be helpful and if they're not helpful, at least humorous. 

If you enjoyed this guest post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at these ones:
​Dear Jasmine: City Love
​Dear Jasmine: Something to Hide
Dear Jasmine: Navigating International Waters
Dear Jasmine: Fast and Furious
​Dear Jasmine: Only Fools Rush In
​Dear Jasmine: College Crushes
​Dear Jasmine: Foreign Boys and Accents

This is part of the #DolceVitaBloggers Linkup. Add any Italy-related post to the linkup party below and join the fun. We are looking forward to another year of this wonderful community. Our goal is to connect over our shared love of Italy. Thank you all who have participated before, and those who join in the future!
​
If you have any questions, please feel free to leave a comment below!
​
Past #DolceVitaBlogger Link-Ups:
#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #16 May 2019
#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #14 March 2019
#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup – #13 February 2019
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup – #12 January 2019
#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup – #11 October 2018 – Hilarious Travel Mishaps
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup – #10 September 2018 – Favourite Italian Recipe
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #9 August 2018 - Culture Shock
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #8 July 2018 - La Dolce Vita
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #7 June 2018 - Hidden Gems in Italy
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #6 May 2018 - Five Italian Words
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #5 April 2018 - The Perfect Day in Italy
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #4 March 2018 - International Women's Day
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #3 February 2018 - A Love Letter to Italy
#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #2 January 2018 - Favourite Italian City
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #1 December 2017 - 'The Italian Connection

​I couldn’t believe the summer was ending. Just a few weeks ago, I remember holding my passport and a dog-eared dictionary in my hand as I waited impatiently for my backpack. It was easy to spot, covered in patches that I’d hand-sewed from every city I’d ever visited. Usually I would sit on a hostel floor, armed with the needle and thread and as if it were some kind of ritual, I would sew on the newest one the last night in a country. The Canadian flag patch was by far the dirtiest but also in the best spot on the backpack –  front and center, the right-hand corner was peeling off and the maple leaf was just barely distinguishable due to one too many snags on a bus, plane, train, or rickshaw. It may have also fallen off a donkey at some point or a Mongolian wild horse, I can’t quite remember. There was a tiny, free spot right under that patriotic patch for the one country that I was missing, the country that I had just landed in.
 
I was in Italy for the first time. I told myself that I was saving the best for last and it turned out to be true. This was the end of my around-the-world trip, one that I had booked with a broken-heart and an overdrafted bank account with the sole idea of leaving both behind on the runway as the first plane took off. Three days prior to the purchase of a plane ticket, my high school boyfriend told me was no longer happy. He stopped at “happy”, as that would prevent me from imagining how that was actually supposed to end. I half-expected him to give me the dreaded “it’s not you, it’s me” speech, but we both knew it wasn’t true. It was me. I had become complacent, not just with us, but with life. Everything I had was exactly what I had worked so hard to have and I found myself in my late-twenties wanting none of it. I would stay up at night, wide-eyed and fearful of something that I couldn’t put a finger on, a monster in waiting that somewhat resembled my future and it was terrifying.
 
And that’s how I found myself one sunny August morning, downing a caffè corretto to calm my nerves and help my rusty university Italian. I was staying with a friend in a town I couldn’t pronounce the name of, a friend that coincidentally had been in my university Italian classes until he met a fabulous Italian queen with the best eyebrows I’d ever seen and the two of them strutted onto a plane with a one-way ticket back to the queen’s hometown in Tuscany. It was the scandal of the century at first, but now they are, fittingly so, town royalty, and I was to be the guest of honour this summer. They literally laid out the red carpet for me and suddenly this foreign country felt like home. I spent the first week in a shameless Chianti-fuelled daze by the turquoise pool overlooking an expansive olive grove.
 
I ventured into town the second Monday, dripping with sweat and chlorine from the pool, my hair in a messy bun falling off one side of my head and the straps of my yellow sundress falling off both shoulders. They say fate has a sense of humour and that afternoon confirmed it. I was such a state: bare-faced, shiny and boasting the biggest sunglasses known to man and of course it was in that moment that I ran into him. Him with a capital H. I had been warned beforehand, a detailed physical description of the one man I had to be sure to avoid at all costs was given to me my first night in Italy. The description was drilled in my head and his photograph (conveniently fished off social media) was burned in my memory: tall, olive skin, dark eyes and even darker hair, and a jawline that looked like it could injure someone. He looked like a group of single foreign women had convened to provide one of those police sketches and that their prompt was “sexy Italian man”. Yet after almost a year of travelling solo as a female, I had met my share of attractive men the world over. From blue-eyed Danish models to hip-swaying Latin Americans, I was immune to seduction by the time I arrived in Italy.  I remember laughing out loud, thinking how absurd it all was because how dangerous could one small-town Italian man be? Famous last words. 

To be continued...
Read ten very short stories which are now available as a cute collection in my first eBook: This Sweet Life. You can download it for FREE in my store! Or read the individual posts in the Creative Writing category.
​
This is part of the #DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #16 May 2019. Add any Italy-related post to the linkup party below and join the fun. We are looking forward to another year of this wonderful community. Our goal is to connect over our shared love of Italy. Thank you all who have participated before, and those who join in the future!
​
If you have any questions, please feel free to leave a comment below!
​
Past #DolceVitaBlogger Link-Ups:
#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #14 March 2019
#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup – #13 February 2019
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup – #12 January 2019
#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup – #11 October 2018 – Hilarious Travel Mishaps
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup – #10 September 2018 – Favourite Italian Recipe
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #9 August 2018 - Culture Shock
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #8 July 2018 - La Dolce Vita
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #7 June 2018 - Hidden Gems in Italy
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #6 May 2018 - Five Italian Words
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #5 April 2018 - The Perfect Day in Italy
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #4 March 2018 - International Women's Day
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #3 February 2018 - A Love Letter to Italy
#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #2 January 2018 - Favourite Italian City
​#DolceVitaBloggers Linkup - #1 December 2017 - 'The Italian Connection
​

Most recent posts:
​Creative Writing: Magnolia
​Creative Writing: Acqua e Sapone
​Creative Writing: Screw Soulmates
Creative Writing: The Romantics (Non-Fiction)
Creative Writing: All the Sunsets
Creative Writing: Happier
​Creative Writing: Whiskey 
​Creative Writing: The Perfect Day in Italy 
​Creative Writing: Call Me Baby 
​Creative Writing: The Butterfly Effect 
 
In the first eBook:
​Creative Writing: The Letter R (Explicit)
​Creative Writing: Dear Italy (A Love Letter)
Creative Writing: Airport Arrivals
​Creative Writing: Tanqueray and You
​Creative Writing: A Thousand Lives
​Creative Writing: A Sunday Kind of Love
​Creative Writing: Perfect Strangers in Switzerland
​Creative Writing: Rooftops and Rome
​Creative Writing: The Morning After in New York
​Creative Writing: Mulberries in Sicily

​Hi everyone and apologies for my recent absence. As some of you know that follow me on other social media, I was hosting my husband’s cousins who came to visit us from Canada over Easter. For this reason, I was a bad, bad blogger and a bad #DolceVitaBloggers host as I didn’t get to post with the rest of the community for the April linkup. I’ve finally found a bit of time as it’s terribly rainy here and freezing for being the beginning of May so there’s really little to do but curl up with a coffee and my laptop.

Today’s post is one that I’ve been wanting to do for awhile. I’ve been living in Italy since late 2014 and while I have had my ups and downs with her, our relationship has always had more of the former but I wanted to talk about how this isn’t the case for everyone who moves here. And I wanted to talk about how that is okay.

Over the years, I’ve said goodbye to a handful of friends who came, saw, and in the end, conquered their own fears and doubts about “renouncing” the dolce vita and are living much happier, fulfilling lives in their native countries or simply in another one that isn’t Italy. Through all this, I’ve noticed a trend which is that it is hard to admit you want and need to leave which might seem as if it’s hard to say “arrivederci” to Italy but what it really comes down to, like so many things that hold us back in life, is that we think too much about the expectations of others. Just as so many Italians ask me “ma che ci fai qui?” (what are you doing here [in Italy]?) which always has the underlining assumption that “life is better in North America”, the same is true for those who utter the words “I’m leaving Italy”. Those of you who have never lived here or lived abroad will likely think that this combination of words is absolute blasphemy or that the person saying it is absolutely crazy. And this, my friends, is a Problem with a capital P because it makes expats who are thinking of leaving their adopted country feel something that they shouldn’t – ashamed. I was so disheartened to see that Canadian vlogger Zoey Arielle, upon deciding to leave Italy, felt as if she needed to do a whole video (below) essentially “explaining” why had chosen to leave. We expats most often never have to “explain” to people why we’re moving to Italy and even if we do, it’s usually something like “uh, the pizza life chose me, duh” and everyone accepts that. So why do we have to explain ourselves when we leave?

There are so many factors that play into having satisfaction with your life abroad and I’m no psychology major but the key factors can be easily explained by Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (see image below). Can you guess what they are?

Well the first and main reason people move FROM Italy is for economic reasons. Employment falls under the second step in the pyramid. If you cannot find a job or are barely making ends meet,  you will always be stuck near the bottom. The original hierarchy states that a “lower level must be completely satisfied and fulfilled before moving onto a higher pursuit” which means that until you are economically stable (something that not even many native Italians are, figuriamoci foreigners), you won’t be able to reach that coveted tip of the pyramid that is the goal of most millennial-types nowadays. The second step of the pyramid requires the achievement of financial security which is defined as: the condition of having stable income or other resources to support a standard of living now and in the foreseeable future. Many (not all, but many) expats AND Italians work on temporary contracts, so as you can understand, this does not satisfy that requirement of having stable income and basically explains the ‘brain drain’ and mass exodus of much of Italy’s youth to destinations abroad. They too are also looking to satisfy this second step in Maslow’s triangle. Those Italians who remain can remain because they often have the aforementioned “other resources” (parents or other relatives) who can help support them financially. I know it sucks to have to say that money is a driving factor and to place so much importance on it, but this is simply the truth and hence, FINANCES are the number one reason expats leave Italy.

Moving to the second reason that causes us to have to leave Italy (or any country we’ve expatriated to), after physiological and safety needs are met, we move to the middle layer which is so, so important and is where we look for, as humans, interpersonal relationships in our community and, this is key – A FEELING OF BELONGINGNESS. This third level is where there is a lot of struggle if the struggle isn’t financial. Say you have found a steady job in Italy, you can pay your rent or mortgage on time, there’s always funds for the extra shopping spree or glass of Barolo if you like, BUT you don’t have anyone to go on that shopping spree or to clink glasses with.

This is actually rarely the case because expats tend to group together and almost always have a friend group, but the interpersonal relationships extend not just in the sense of having friends but having a satisfying relationship with FAMILY and the COMMUNITY. Many expats dating or married to an Italian might be able to tick off family if they have children of their own in Italy and are therefore able to concentrate on their immediate family, however others might struggle if they don’t feel accepted by their partner’s family, especially since this is the only family an expat has physical contact with. This level is where language starts to play a huge part, if it already didn’t in the second level that employment falls under (you can work as an English teacher without speaking Italian, for example). You often need a certain fluency of Italian to be able to establish a relationship with Italian family members, otherwise those relationships will always stay superficial. Again, for some people this isn’t an issue , they might have other relationships that are able to satisfy their needs that aren’t familial and that’s fine too.

And yet even if your family situation is all hunky-dory and you have an amazing relationship with your mother-in-law, there’s the issue of your relationships in the community. Personally, I see a lot of struggle in achieving this, I’d likely say that this is the second biggest deciding factor if someone leaves Italy or not. You can have friends, you can have family, but you also need to FEEL LIKE YOU BELONG TO THE COMMUNITY. This is also the hardest thing to pinpoint but I can probably best describe it by describing my own experiences: I feel part of my community when I’m at the grocery store and the cashier recognizes me and asks me how my day is going or when the Chinese restaurant around the corner asks where my husband went because they know I always order take-out when he’s away on business. I feel like part of the community when I go to a group exercise class or even when I go to church or having a little chat with the post office worker or laughing out loud with a bunch of Italian teenagers in driver’s theory school. Belonging means feeling integrated, something that is often quite a challenge for any foreigner because it involves knowing a language and a culture and not only that, but accepting that language and culture and successfully mixing it with your own. It’s about overcoming that sensation of ME vs. THEM. You can be fluent in Italian and never get over that mentality because to get to an “US” frame of mind, you need that cultural acceptance as well. To see this in action might be when you’re standing line and complaining with the Italian lady behind you about how slow the cashier is, sharing that moment together and your mutual frustration towards something is an example of being part of the “US”.  A good friend of mine is from California and moved to Italy to play soccer. He's another example of someone who has a really strong sense of community here because being part of a team sport is an excellent way to integrate. 

Once you are over these two steps, the others become slightly easier and you are able to feel happiness and satisfaction with your life. Note that Maslow’s triangle wasn’t made for living abroad specifically, it was simply made to be applicable to living. So these things are true no matter where in the world you are, it’s just that moving to a foreign country brings you right back down to the bottom of the triangle and you’re required to build everything back up from scratch whereas you might have already been near the top in your home country. And as you can now see, the responsibility doesn’t depend on just the one person. Outside factors play a role in whether a person can move up the levels and this, folks, IS WHY THERE IS NO SHAME IN SAYING “ARRIVEDERCI” ITALY, because “success” abroad is multi-factorial and we all need to realize that. If you got to the end of this, thank you so much for reading and I hope this was helpful to anyone thinking of leaving Italy as well as to anyone thinking of moving here! Would also love to hear your thoughts on this issue, dear readers. 

If you’re interested in real stories about ex-Italy-expats, make sure to check out my series Ciao For Now or if you’d like to share your own experience, get in contact! ​

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at these ones or at the Expat Life
category on the sidebar. 

Past Ciao For Now posts:
Ciao For Now: Estrella of La Casabloga
​Ciao For Now: Martha of Martha Miller Writes
​
Popular Posts on Dating and Relationships in Italy:
​How to Lose an Italian Guy in 10 Days
The Differences Between Dating an Italian and a Canadian
​What Do Italian Men Married to Non-Italian Women Have in Common?
Why Are There So Many American Girls with Italian Boys?
​Why We Love Italian Boys
​The Double Standard Between Italian Street Harassment and American
​Can Men and Women Be Friends? Here's How My Italian Colleagues Responded
Dating Diversity: Italy vs. Canada (and North America)
Cross-Cultural Dating: My First Jaw-Drop Moment with an Italian 
Italian Men: The Unofficial Guide for Wives and Girlfriends
How to Snag (and Keep) an Italian Man 
Asians and Italians…The Perfect Cross-Cultural Cocktail? ​​

Popular Posts about Language Struggles:
​How to Fight and Make Love in Two Languages
​Immunity to Accent Attractiveness: Can the Italian Accent Stop Being Sexy?
The English Stare and Getting "Englished" Living Abroad and How To Deal
What I'm Really Thinking While Speaking Italian as a Second Language

Popular Posts about General Expat Life:
​A Step-by-Step Guide on How to Hate Living in Italy
​My Hypothetical Italian Teenagers Won't Have Varsity Jackets or Homecomings
​My Canadian Identity Abroad in Italy: The Conundrum
FIVE Ways I've Become More ITALIAN in Canada
​Annoying Things Non-Canadians Say About Canada 
​Two Sides of the Italy Coin 
​Dating Diversity: Italy vs. Canada (and North America)
​Daily Things I Never Did Before Moving to Italy
​

Bentornati a Love Story Lunedì and you might be wondering why I'm all of a sudden welcoming you in Italian. Well loves, today I have a special treat. It's my first footballer sharing a love story that is very close to home, in fact, he used to play for Bergamo's team- Atalanta! Godberg Cooper is the definition of young, cool, and talented. The Ghanian-Italian (he was born right around the corner from me in the comune of Seriate) was super eager to share his story with his new love, Gloria. Their relationship is the stuff of what the future looks like for young Italians. As the children of immigrants and their children come to a sense of belonging in Italy, more and more, we will see these mixed culture relationships between Italians of every skin color. It's an exciting time but there is also a long way to go and I can't say that these couplings aren't subject to the close-mindedness of prior generations and even the ignorance of younger ones. We can only do our very best to usher in a more inclusive and accepting era by supporting each other, sharing stories, and most importantly, living and loving to the best of our abilities. There is nothing that can demonstrate love knows no race, culture, language, religion than by being proof of that to the world. This is what I hope to be contributing to in the tiniest way with these love stories.

Notes: I've provided the original text in Italian and the translation was done by me below.

​Where are you from and where is your significant other from?
Il mio nome è Godberg Cooper e ho 21 anni, sono nato in Italia precisamente a Seriate (BG), ma ho origini Ghanesi, da l’età di 3 che gioco a calcio ho giocato pure nell’Atalanta e ora mi trovo in Portogallo in una squadra di Serie C in prestito dall’ Auroca squadra di Serie B. Dal 11 di gennaio quindi 2 mesi sono fidanzato con Gloria, italiana di 20 anni, però ci sentiamo dalla fine di Agosto inizio Settembre. Penserai che siano pochi mesi, ma per come è la nostra relazione mi sembra di conoscerla da decenni e soprattutto per le cose che condividiamo e che continueremo a condividere.

My name is Godberg Cooper and I'm 21 years old, I was born in Italy in Seriate to be precise, but I have Ghanian origins. I've been playing soccer since the age of 3 and I even played for Atalanta. Currently I'm in Portugal in a Serie C team on loan from Auroca, a Serie B team. I've been together with Gloria, a 20 year old Italian, since January 11th, so 2 months, however we've been talking since the end of August/beginning of September. You'll probably think that's not many months but for how our relationship is, it's as if I've known her for decades and especially for the things that we share and that we'll continue to share.

Curator's Note: Una volta eravamo proprio vicini di casa, quando ero appena arrivata in Italia, abitavo a Seriate! We were once pretty much neighbors, when I had just arrived in Italy, I lived in Seriate!

Where and when did you meet your significant other?
Sembrerà bizzarra come cosa ma io l’ho conosciuta tramite sua sorella, perché inizialmente “”mi scrivevo”” con lei su Instagram, poi un giorno ho visto Gloria in una delle sue foto, e da quel momento le ho scritto e abbiamo iniziato a sentirci. Purtroppo però una settimana dopo, sua sorella l’ha scoperto e anche se ne io ne sua sorella "A" avessimo avuto niente, in termini di relazione, anche perché il nostro sentirci era basato interamente sull’amicizia, senza nessuna malizia a lei dava fastidio che io scrivessi a Gloria, quindi da quel momento per non creare situazioni difficili e per rispetto di sua sorella ha deciso di chiuderla.

Destino vuole che io chiarissi con "A" perché a me Gloria piaceva molto e sistemate le cose abbiamo iniziato a risentirci.

It'll seem bizarre but I met her through her sister because initially, I was writing her on Instagram, then one day I saw Gloria in one of her photos and from that moment on, I started to write her and we started to chat. Unfortunately though, a week later, her sister found out and even though her sister "A" and I never had anything in terms of a relationship (our communications were entirely based on friendship with no bad intentions), she was annoying that I was writing to Gloria so from that moment, I decided to end things with Gloria in order to not create a difficult situation and out of respect for her sister.

Destiny wanted me to clear things up with "A" because I liked Gloria a lot and having fixed things, we started talking again.

Curator's Note: Sei stato un vero gentiluomo quando hai deciso di chiudere tutto per non mettere a disagio sia "A" che sua sorella, non tutti i ragazzi della tua età avrebbero preso la stessa decisione. Ma come hai detto, non puoi combattere ciò che è destinato ad accadere. You were a true gentleman when you decided to end things to not make things awkward for both "A" and her sister, not all guys your age would have made the same decision. But as you said, you can't fight destiny.

What was your first impression of her?
La prima impressione che ho avuto di lei, tralasciando la bellezza che si sa, per prima cosa la simpatia, quando una ragazza mi fa ridere è fatta, il suo sorriso stupendo, il suo essere timida, gelosa ma allo stesso tempo decisa e tenacia, e poi il modo in cui mi parla e i suoi modi di fare, davvero anche un solo piccolo gesto tipo un “ciao amore” a me rende le giornate felici, per me lei è il mio punto di riferimento e di questo ne ho davvero bisogno soprattutto perché sono da solo in una paese “straniero”.

The first impression that I had of her, aside from her obvious beauty, was first of all her kindness, (when a girl makes me laugh it's over), her amazing smile, her shyness; she's jealous but at the same decisive and tough, and finally the way that she talks to me and her mannerisms - really even just a little gesture like a "hi love" makes my day. For me, she's my point of reference and I need this, especially because I'm alone in a foreign country.

Curator's Note: Alla fine della giornata, la cosa che conta davvero e stare con la persona che ti fa ridere. At the end of the day, the thing that counts the most is being with the person that makes you laugh.

Dish on the first kiss.
Il nostro primo bacio è avvenuto il 23 di ottobre tra l’altro giorno del suo 20esimo compleanno, io ovviamente per il calcio mi trovo in Portogallo e vivo pure li, ma per lei anche perché non ci eravamo mai visti, ho voluto farle una sorpresa, e non ti dico quanto è stato bello vedersi per la prima volta dopo 3 mesi di soli messaggi, e la felicità di baciarla, cosa più bella in assoluto.

Our first kiss happened on October 23rd, which also happened to be her 20th birthday. Obviously for soccer I'm currently in Portugal and I live there but since we had never seen each other, I wanted to surprise her and I can't tell you how amazing it was to see each other in person for the first time after 3 months of only messaging and the joy I felt in kissing her, the most beautiful thing by far.

Where do you live now?
Io ora vivo in Portogallo e lei vive in Italia.
I live in Portugal and she lives in Italy.

Any advice for mixed/long-distance couples?
Un consiglio che possiamo dare per le relazioni a distanza, è innanzitutto la fiducia reciproca anche se è più difficile, perché per noi la fiducia sta alla base di tutto e senza quella non si va da nessuna parte, successivamente la comunicazione e il confronto perché essendo lontani, è più facile fraintendere ciò che il Partner dice, per cui non abbiate paura a dire ciò che si pensa e a parlare dei propri dubbi, soprattutto se si è ansiosi, perché altrimenti a lungo andare, le paure che vi tenete dentro diventeranno ostacoli per la vostra relazione.

E inoltre cercate di essere il più presente possibile in quanto, essendo già la lontananza un’ostacolo è importante far sentire la propria presenza al vostro partner seppur lontani, in modo tale da condividere giorno per giorno le vostre esperienze INSIEME.

Consiglio invece per le coppie miste, di non ascoltare i pregiudizi altrui, ma di seguire sempre il vostro cuore che è la cosa più importante, l’amore vale più di qualsiasi cosa al mondo.

Some advice that we can give for long-distance relationships is firstly to have mutual trust, even if it's more difficult, since for us, trust is the basis of everything and without it, you can't keep going. Next, communication and dialogue because being apart, it's easy to misunderstand what your partner says so don't be afraid to say what you think and to talk about your doubts, especially if you're a worrisome person, otherwise in the long-term, the fears that you keep inside will become obstacles for your relationship.

Furthermore, try to be present as much as possible, with distance already being an obstacle, it's important to demonstrate that you're there for your partner even if you're far apart, in order to be able to share your experiences day to day with one another.

For mixed couples, I would advise them not to listen to the prejudices of others but rather to always follow your heart which is the most important thing- love is worth more than anything else in the world.

Curator's Note: Cosa posso dire, non avrei potuto dirlo meglio. Siete saggi nonostante la vostra età e spero che continuerete ad essere un esemplare esempio del potere d'amore. What can I say, I couldn't have said it better myself. You're wise beyond your age and I hope that you'll continue to be an exemplary example of the power of love.

Submitted by Godberg.

Here's how you can connect with him:
Instagram:

A huge, heartfelt thanks to Godberg and Gloria for sharing their love story with us.
​Vi auguro tante belle cose. xoxo

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at all of the  Love Story Lunedì. 
There are so many amazing stories to read so make sure you're all caught up. And should you want to share your own story or know of a couple who would, please get in touch. The majority of these stories have been brought to me through word-of-mouth, so let's keep spreading the love. 

Here are our past Love Stories in no particular order: 
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Kelly and Michele
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Sonja and Ricky
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Loriana and Giancarlo
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Nina and Enzo
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Chiara and Andrea
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Marlena and Fernando
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Sherry and Andre
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Faith and Valerio
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Bianca and Luca
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Paula and Pontus
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Alicha and Dennis
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Arachi and Ciro
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Genia and Mattia
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Amanda and Michelangelo​
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Carmela and Paolo
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Evelyn and Fabio​
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Margarita and Andrea​
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Viki and Que
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Athena and André
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Rosa and Rocco
​​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Hayley and Mike
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Philippa and Nick
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Camie and Marco
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Alannah and Eros​​
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Cheyenne and Giulio
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Jade and Daniele
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Chloe and Andrea
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Coral and Riccardo
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Rachel and Riccardo
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Daria and Francesco
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Briana and Dami
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Kayla and Luca
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Sarah and Michele
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Bailey and Carlo​
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Gregory and Stefania
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Sofie and Emilio
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Isabel and David
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Jasmine and Massi
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Tiffany and Adam
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Angela and Davide
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Kristie and Graziano
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Brittni and Alberto
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Maddie and Gio
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Jennie and Davide
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Lauren and Luigi
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Rebecca and Leonardo
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Jennifer and James

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME BELOVED READERS AND ROMANTICS. I know, I've been terrible at being regular and I'm not talking about my bowels. This series is called Love Story Lunedì and I should be posting a new story every Monday but fortunately or unfortunately, life also happens and Mondays come and go without me realizing it. So here we are, better late than never (literally the unofficial motto of every Italian I know so it's befitting really). Sometimes I think I'm selfish for doing this series, profiling couples from all parts of the world. It just tickles my heart and lifts my mood to think about all these people who have moved mountains for love and I'm really so honored to be privy to your stories.

Today I have Kelly, who is actually one of my Instagram friends that I've yet to meet in real-life, but somehow I feel like I know her so well already. We're both far from home, she's from Cape Town, South Africa and are married to impossibly handsome dark-haired Italians with names that start with M. That's about where the similarities end though, because Kelly's Italian is named Michele and he hails from the land of everything delicious and by that, I mean he's from Piemonte where Barolo and truffles come from! They have a killer meetcute that involves what they call "the love boat" and their adventurous souls have taken them across the globe from the US, to South Africa, the Netherlands, and now, Italy. Kelly was kind enough to write us a backstory, so I won't steal her thunder.

THE BACKSTORY
Michele and I have a keen passion for travelling and at the time of meeting, we both worked for a
company who operate spas onboard luxury cruise vessels. I actually remember the day we met like
it was yesterday! I had come back onboard, to the spa, after spending my morning off in Venice.
Michele had boarded our ship that day to help us install some new online booking system. (I knew
somebody would be coming onboard to do that for us, but I assumed it would be a lady because I
recalled seeing a note saying “Michele” was coming onboard. Needless to say, I had no clue it was
an Italian name for a guy?!? Lol! That is… until I saw this handsome, well-dressed, dark-eyed, dark
haired man standing in front of a door I needed to enter inside the spa!!!). Fast-forward, our love
story took us to living in a few different countries since then; the US, South Africa, The Netherlands
and of course in Italy.

​Where are you from and where is your significant other from?
My husband comes from the amazing region of Barolo and truffles – yes, that’s right, Piedmont! He
was born and raised in Torino; he’s a city boy with a great love for the mountains! I come from the
beautiful coastal city of Cape Town, also known as the Mother City, or the city that has a mountain
in the shape of a long table (it really does, Google it!) in South Africa. I, on the other hand, have a
great love for the ocean!

Curator's Note: If I lived in Piedmont, I would surely be a glutton/alcoholic. Truffles and Barolo are probably two of my favorite things in the entire world. I'm jealous of YOU and you being related to this region via marriage. 

Where and when did you meet your significant other? 
Michele and I met on what I like to jokingly call our “love boat” lol! Seriously though, we met on a
cruise ship back in 2008.

Curator's Note: This love boat thing is so entertaining. What a great way to tell it, fabulous for cocktail parties. It's amazing how being in one place at one moment in time can change your life. 

Who made the first move? 
Hmmm, good question… boh!? We worked together so it’s a bit challenging to say, as we both
didn’t want to break any professional boundaries! I’d say we started off as friends and as we got to
know one another, I’d have to say he made the first move, with those dark alluring eyes! (You know
the “speaking with your eyes move” lol!)

Curator's Note: THE EYES THE EYES THE EYES. Oh I know. I know girlfriend. Sometimes I have to avert my eyes from random Italian strangers because they look at you in a way that makes you feel like you're cheating on your husband almost! I don't know where they have perfected this art but, seriously, Italians, we give you a 10 e lode for it. 

Where did you think he was originally from?
I think I’d probably have to go with American because he had a bit of an American accent when
speaking English, but at the same time, I could hear he was foreign.

Curator's Note:  This is the first time I've heard of someone mistaking an Italian for an American!  I'm impressed. Bravo Michele! 

What was your first impression of her/him?
I thought he was smart, professional, and serious at times but also very friendly, funny and
approachable! A charming enigma!

Curator's Note: A charming enigma, that's Italian men in two words. 

Where do you live now? 
We currently live in Como, in a little town along the lake. It is soooo very different to all the places
we’ve lived in, however we have come to enjoy it!

Curator's Note: I'm hittin' you up next time I'm there, we come often on the motorcycle in summer. It's a gorgeous area. ​

Have you learned each other's languages?
Well… let’s start with Michele, lol! He’s fluent in English; he had learnt the language before we met.
Myself, however, it’s been a few years in the making. I must say though that since living in Italy it’s
come a heck of a long way, I’m still not where I’d like to be but it’s getting there, piano piano! Living
here really forces you out of your comfort zone and motivates you to learn, even if you sound
ridiculous half of the time! Everyday is an opportunity to improve!

Curator's Note: Absolutely, especially the last thing you said, you have to approach it that way  to keep moving forward in learning. 

Any advice for mixed/long-distance couples?
To mixed culture couples: Be respectful and open minded about each other’s backgrounds and
cultures. Things will certainly be different compared to what you’re used to, but find a good balance
and make it work for both of you. I always try to see our differences as a good thing, as they say; variety
is the spice of life!

Long-distance couples: Technology is a great thing, so use it! Communication and trust is key in order to make dealing with the long distance a little easier. I also believe that being on the same page about
your goals in life will ensure that your happily ever after works out in the end!

What do you love most about being married?

This one’s a tough question because there are sooooo many reasons why I love being married to my
amore! I love that I have my biggest supporter as my partner in life and we get to share all kinds of weird and special moments together! Also, I get to have the best cozy sleep over parties with him every night!!

Curator's Note:  That's why it's so important to marry someone you consider to be your best friend because then marriage really is like getting to have a sleepover with your BFF every night and with no mandatory lights-out time either! 

Submitted by Kelly. 

Here's how you can connect with her:
Instagram and YouTube:  ​

A huge, heartfelt thanks to Kelly and Michele for sharing their love story with us.
​Vi auguro tante belle cose. xoxo

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to "dare un'occhiata" at all of the  Love Story Lunedì. 
There are so many amazing stories to read so make sure you're all caught up. And should you want to share your own story or know of a couple who would, please get in touch. The majority of these stories have been brought to me through word-of-mouth, so let's keep spreading the love. 

Here are our past Love Stories in no particular order: 
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Sonja and Ricky
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Loriana and Giancarlo
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Nina and Enzo
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Chiara and Andrea
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Marlena and Fernando
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Sherry and Andre
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Faith and Valerio
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Bianca and Luca
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Paula and Pontus
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Alicha and Dennis
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Arachi and Ciro
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Genia and Mattia
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Amanda and Michelangelo​
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Carmela and Paolo
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Evelyn and Fabio​
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Margarita and Andrea​
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Viki and Que
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Athena and André
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Rosa and Rocco
​​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Hayley and Mike
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Philippa and Nick
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Camie and Marco
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Alannah and Eros​​
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Cheyenne and Giulio
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Jade and Daniele
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Chloe and Andrea
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Coral and Riccardo
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Rachel and Riccardo
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Daria and Francesco
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Briana and Dami
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Kayla and Luca
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Sarah and Michele
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Bailey and Carlo​
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Gregory and Stefania
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Sofie and Emilio
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Isabel and David
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Jasmine and Massi
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Tiffany and Adam
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Angela and Davide
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Kristie and Graziano
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Brittni and Alberto
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Maddie and Gio
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Jennie and Davide
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Lauren and Luigi
LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Rebecca and Leonardo
​LOVE STORIES by Questa Dolce Vita: Jennifer and James